Admirable People
by Quintessential Queen of Hearts
Summary: Things never tend to go well when team dads come to play. Admiral Mcgee makes an appearance.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

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Tony was going Probie hunting. Although it sounded like a game he would typically enjoy it was quickly losing it's luster. Gibbs had required his participation, no free will involved. Boss had even threatened to fire him if he didn't "fix it." He was relatively sure Gibbs wasn't serious about the firing part.

Still, Worse than being forced to atone for his sins by el jefe was that, as he was learning, McGee was really good at not being found. Tony had already gone by his apartment, his coffee shop with the drive-thru, his usual writing haunts and every bar he could think of between NCIS and McGee's apartment. Tricky little Probie.

To make matters worse; he was getting zero help from anyone else. Even his faithful comrade, Ziva, refused to even acknowledge him aside from dirty looks after she'd heard about this latest fiasco. The fiasco that actually did, in retrospect, top him pretending to be McGee's online girlfriend.

She'd let out a rant he wasn't sure he wanted to see a translation of, then she had resorted to glaring. Not that he needed her. He could handle one angry probie. Who in all honesty he thought was exaggerating. He couldn't have known how bad things really were. Well, he could have just taken McGee's word for it but where was the fun in that?

Tony had been driving to various locales in the DC area for hours. He didn't know where else to look. Okay, new plan: To find the Probie one must think like the Probie. At work he'd just go down to the lab but McGee had already left the premises. That thought led to his lightbulb moment - Abby's. He was right too. Take that Mossad hunting dog.

The Porsche was outside her building. Tony parked and made his way up to her floor. She looked at him wearily when she opened the door. "Tony, I'm not sure that now is a good time..." she trailed off. He could see McGee coming up behind her. McGee took one look at him and stepped around Abby to slam the door in his face. That went well.

He heard a bit of shuffling on the other side of the door. Apparently Abby stayed in the entryway because he could still hear her half of the conversation. "No, Tim, he's allowed here too... because we're family...I'm not asking you to."

Abby reopened the door just in time for Tony to witness her bedroom door slamming shut. Without the shoes she was shorter than him but the look she was giving him still managed to make him feel small. "Of course you had something to do with this." He slunk past her.

Once he had melted down onto her sofa, her line of questioning began."What did you do? He's been like that since he showed up. I'm not saying that I don't think it's a refreshing change of pace, having to talk him out of homicide, but explain. Now."

He didn't have words to describe how quickly things had gotten out of hand. "I messed up Abs."

"I got that far on my own. Start talking."

"We had to go on an interview. McGee refused to go. First time he's every refused to do anything. May have given him a hard time about it. But Boss didn't question it. Gibbs said to take Ziva so I did. Found out we were going to be interviewing an Admiral- a very specific Admiral. Ziva's ninja senses picked up on some kind of tension and she tried to stop me. Probably should have listened. May have suggested he come by NCIS, insinuated that Probie'd like to see him. Might have forced the issue. Anyway apparently the Admiral is coming to NCIS tomorrow for the followup and he's requested McGee to be the liaison."

Monologue done, Tony chanced a glance over at Abby who was playing the hem of her skirt. She finally breathed out and looked back over at him. "He wouldn't tell me what was wrong, only talked about plans that involved your sudden demise. Some of them were pretty good. It was weird though, I'm the unreasonable one, not him. Maybe he wasn't being unreasonable after all."

Tony hadn't expected that. He logically knew Abby wouldn't have been likely to take his side. But still, it would have been prepared himself to aide in his own defense. "McGee seems all Mr. family man, I thought he was making a big deal out of nothing. He's not the pillar of family dysfunction like the rest of us. He never even mentions his dad. Figured it wasn't that big a deal."

"People don't talk about something for two reasons Tony, it means nothing or everything. His relationship with his dad doesn't mean nothing to him. Not that you have a lot of room to talk; Let's invite your dad around. You'd like that right? Or how about Ziva's? We could ring up Director David. Throw in Gibbs senior and it'll be a real party. I'd invite my own but I've misplaced my Ouija board. Our team familial issues alone could probably keep a whole wing of therapists at Bethesda busy year round, why would Tim be any different? The Admiral? Seriously Tony?"

Yeah, Abby wasn't happy.

However, she was also Abby, which meant that even though she wasn't happy with him, she still leaned her head against his shoulder and waited until he didn't feel so bad anymore. He really didn't like it when they were actually mad at him. Messing with them was fun but he didn't like it when things got out of hand.

Tony was determined to wait until McGee came out of her room. He'd have to eat eventually. Or they could try smoking him out or something. He didn't think Abby'd appreciate that last idea, it was her room after all. Instead, she talked him into leaving with the reassurance that McGee probably wouldn't hate him forever. He didn't budge until she promised to call and give him a heads up if McGee escaped with plans to make good on his plots.

Once Tony had been successfully evicted from her living room she turned her attention to her remaining house guest. She let herself into her bedroom to find McGee scowling at her from the base of her coffin. Deciding to stay in the doorway for the time being was a safe bet, give him space. Especially if she was going to poke the angry bear.

"It's not all Tony's fault. We work for the Navy. It was bound to happen eventually."

He looked up at her. "I know. Doesn't mean I want to be anywhere near him. I can't do it again." He really wasn't all that mad at Tony, at least no more so than usual. It was easier to be mad at DiNozzo than it was to admit he didn't want to see his dad. That was a relationship he had given up trying to fix years ago.

Abby abandoned her post in the doorway and curved herself around him. "Maybe this will be a good thing." He snorted in response. "I'm serious Tim. A new leaf. Fresh start. Everyone else has been getting reconciliation lately; maybe it's your turn."

"It's a nice thought Abs. But not everything gets a fairytale end." He felt her back away just the tiniest bit. He knew he shouldn't have said that.

"I know that McGee. But you all still can. You have that chance. Do you have any idea what I'd give for one more chance to talk to my dad? My mom? Kate?" He did know, probably as much as he'd give to let her have that chance. A second for eternity. Even if he could make it happen for her, It would still never be enough.

Abby didn't understand. All she had left were memories and questions. His family was different. In fact, his sister was daddy's little girl. She was everything she was supposed to be. That only made it worse. He wanted nothing less for Sarah then exactly what she had and deserved. He would never want that taken away from her. He only wanted the same thing for himself.

McGee could not tell the man how unfair he was. Not about all the times he had let down the son he did have in exchange for hoping it would alter the fundamental makeup of who he was. It had altered his relationship with his extended family as well. Nobody bothered to look at things from his perspective. He was the son who had cut his father out of his life. It was an unacceptable situation, he had made the wrong choices. To count the family members on his side wouldn't even require a full hand of fingers. He was the black sheep.

He hadn't seen his father in years, not since he had stormed out after another pointless conversation regarding his lack of being what his father expected him to be. He had glimpsed him once though, he'd been walking in Georgetown with Abby and seen him waiting on his car. McGee had never explained to Abby his sudden need for coffee but he had apologized for half shoving her ahead of him into the nearest café and staying until the dark SUV was well out of sight.

What self-respecting grown man could explain that he was hiding from his father. Luckily his father hadn't noticed him. Sometimes things were so far gone you couldn't even fathom what to say to start trying to make them right again. It was to the point that there was nothing left to say. To verbalize his feelings on the matter of his father would solve nothing. It'd probably just make everything worse. There was simply too much to repair.

Had he talked, the Admiral would not take kindly to being told that the expectations were killing him. He had tried for so long to be someone he wasn't and it wasn't possible for him to pretend anymore. If his dad couldn't accept that, couldn't let go of his idealized image of what a son should be- well, McGee had made his peace a long time ago. His dad was content to let him break away, never had tried to contact his son. It wasn't possible for everyone to have everything. This wasn't in the cards for him.

He had far from a bad upbringing. There was so much in his life he could be grateful for. Letting go of one relationship to save his happiness had been a decision he was willing to make. He did not need his father to approve of anything he did in his life. Not having a dad around didn't change anything. He hadn't really ever had one. A father yes, a dad no. Dads were unconditional. It was okay. He just had to keep telling himself that.

He got up and pulled Abby up with him. He couldn't sit there and think about his father anymore. There might be no escaping tomorrow but he would not let him monopolize his brain for another night. Abby had just won the role of distraction and entertainment for the rest of the evening.

Tomorrow was unavoidable. He had considered maybe calling in sick, except Gibbs would probably kill him. Hunt him down, they wouldn't find the body, kill him. There would be no excuses. He would have to face the music. He could do this.

As the next day started up, McGee spent the better part of the morning trying not to throw up. Luckily this little meeting had been scheduled earlyish in the day, long enough for him to work himself into a panic about it but still leaving him with enough time to finish before midday.

Abby had already informed him that they'd be going to lunch to celebrate the face-to-face being over and done with. Gibbs had been locked up in the director's office for most of the morning. He was glad the boss wouldn't be around. One problem down. He didn't need that introduction to happen.

Tony had been all too helpful all morning, doing any little thing McGee mentioned needed doing. He was considering hiring him as his own personal valet if he kept it up. Abby had been haunting Gibbs abandoned desk laughing with Ziva about Tony's new usefulness. Ducky and Palmer had even been in and out with little to do in autopsy. It was not a bad morning. Right up until the elevator doors opened to reveal the man of the hour. He froze. Ziva jumped up to escort the elder McGee to the conference room. That bought him a few more seconds of procrastination.

Tim gave himself 30 seconds to gather his wits and followed them in. By the time he had the door open, Ziva was slipping past him with an apologetic look on her face. He turned and properly faced the man he hadn't seen in the better part of a decade. He still looked every bit as intimidating as he had when Tim was a kid. The difference now, obviously, being that he wasn't a kid.

Also, it was a bit disconcerting to realize that he was basically looking at a stranger. His father had become simply someone that he had used to know. Still yet, the man could make him feel just as small and belittled as ever. Some things never really left you after all. Ziva had already collected the report he was to deliver. He had no more reason to delay speaking. "You're only here on a technicality. Is there anything else you can tell us about the contractor involved with your program?"

His father was staring at him inquisitively. "No, I've nothing else to report." Stern, just like always.

"All right then. If we have any further issues, an agent will be in touch." He did not want to stay in that room any longer than necessary. He wanted to leave but he couldn't help himself. "Why did you insist I be the liaison?"

"You are my son."

McGee continued to watch him silently before responding: "We were done with that a long time ago."

"Yes, but the only information we get on you comes from Sarah. People ask questions. Your life is still of consequence to your mother and I." A duty. Not a son. Not blood. Not wanted for himself, just for the idea. McGee could read the signs. If anything, his mother had probably forced this interaction on his father's side. Abby's idealism was not going to come through this time. Things were still as far gone as they'd every been.

Tim let the pause in the conversation continue for longer than it needed to. "All right then, I'll escort you to the elevator, someone else will take you out." They walked through the halls until the bullpen was in view. His father paused.

"Out of curiosity, have you married her yet? The girl, she is the same one from before, correct? And from that day you were hiding in that restaurant?"

His stomach dropped, he had been sure his father hadn't been witness to that little freak out of his. "Abby. No, we're not married."

"You would inform us?"

"I would tell Sarah."

"Who in turn would tell us. You will keep us informed?" A demand, not a request, not a question. Welcome to the world of the Admiral. The man who always expected to get exactly what he wanted.

It was an odd conversation, probably mostly due to the fact that it was the first one they'd had in what seemed like a lifetime. Was it the start of baby steps back to normal? Not anyone else's normal but his own. He didn't think so. However, McGee could tell that he'd be seeing him again. Most likely at NCIS, with his luck he wasn't done as liaison.

Nonetheless, civility was good. His mother would be pleased. It had gone better than he could have imagined. Despite the success, it was all superficial. They could be in the same room, not much of an accomplishment. Some things, for example childhoods, just couldn't be undone.

There would be no warm fuzzy reunion in the future. He was sure. But that was okay. In the past years, McGee had found his own family in the team. By going his own way, he had gained so much more.

They made it to the elevator where the Admiral's escort was waiting. Just when it seemed that the meeting would have no negative repercussions, McGee noticed the escort falling away. Abby was approaching, dangling his car keys. When he realized the setup, it was too far in play for him to be able to stop. McGee knew he should have foreseen something like this happening.

Getting his father in and out quickly would have been too easy. It had all gone too smoothly. Dread started to fill him. Gibbs had appeared and replaced the agent offering to take the Admiral to the main lobby. The doors closed after them before McGee could make any kind of protest.

Gibbs and his father. A nice private chat. Together. And he was pretty sure he heard the elevator power being shut off. Gibbs had planned this. He was sure. This could not end well.


	2. Chapter 2

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Mcgee was not a supporter of this change of events. The elevator being occupied, Abby had happily said goodbye to Tony and Ziva, She had pulled him around to the back exit and given him no say in the matter of leaving the building. She had known this was coming. She only paused long enough to tell him only she and Gibbs had known what was going on. There was that rule about secrets after all. He was instructed to forget about NCIS, Gibbs and his father until they returned to the building. What did he expect to happen? They wouldn't kill each other, their would be no torture, and it was unlikely to turn into a fight to the death. Although, that might be worth seeing. Choices were limited. Mcgee took his keys and opened the car door.

For quite awhile, Gibbs had been interested in Admiral Mcgee. He'd been waiting for the day the job brought his team into contact with the man. Things always had a way of working out like that. Now, Gibbs watched as his plan fell into action. It had been an easy setup. The agent meant to escort the Admiral was gone with a glance, returning to the safety of wherever he came from. It was good to be feared. His reputation was proving useful once again. The secrecy of the plan was essential, Mcgee would have never let him anywhere near his father especially not alone with the man.

To solve that issue, keep Mcgee from getting in the way, he recruited Abby for distraction. She was the favorite, the most likely to be open to helping with his concocted plan. Even better, she would be the least likely to set off Mcgee's suspicion radar. He had mildly suggested, aided by a nice new caf-pow, she figure out some way to occupy Mcgee's time so he couldn't interfere with the plan. She got the point. He didn't particularly care to know what she had thought up. Hopefully it was benign. But he would be getting the time he needed. Everything set and done, it was time to meet an Admiral.

The time had come for a father to father chat. He could be just as scary as the highest ranking military men in the world. While he didn't cling to the usefulness of words like his team did, he could pull out a 'conversation' when he needed to. This one wouldn't require much from the other participant. It was his second favorite kind after the ones that involved him having to say nothing. In and out, hit them hard and get out clean. Just like the sniper he used to be. Defender of justice, his country and his family. If necessary he'd take all the time in the world.

He slapped the power switch down. The admiral turned and looked at him. "You're Gibbs?" He gave the man a gruff nod. "Is there a reason you've taken me hostage?" "You're not a hostage, Admiral. But you are going to listen." "I'm assuming you aren't looking for tickets to the next Navy fundraiser?" Gibbs didn't handle beating around the bush well. "You know why we're in this box." "I do not need a lecture on how to best deal with my son." That was a ticking time bomb of an answer. It was time to go straight for the point. No easy intro for the Admiral. It would be a direct hit to the matter at hand.

"You did a real number on him. Kid won't ask for anything, not even help when he needs it. Trying to get anything out of him, that doesn't relate to the job, is like pulling teeth. What has to happen to somebody that they won't talk about anything before they started college?" "Tim has always been one to overdramatize."

Gibbs might have bought that, back when he'd first met him, the better part of ten years had taught him differently. "Or you couldn't be bothered with the reality of his situation. I've got a pretty good idea of what kind of son you expected you'd be bringing up. Can't imagine that being born with a different disposition was a sentence tobeing ostracized in your own family."

Gibbs knew that the Admiral wasn't taking kindly to his abrupt intervention. He would see it as getting involved where he didn't belong. Somewhere private. Too bad. It shouldn't have ever been necessary. "Please tell me, Agent Gibbs, what right you have involving yourself in personal matters?"

"He's on my team. In the past years, I've watched him become one of the best agents here. Your son should be getting every ounce of recognition you give anyone who works under you. But you won't do that. Because you still hold onto whatever vision you had in your head over thirty years ago. You haven't even talked to him in years and you're still holding him back. Because of everything you said or never said. Everything he's become has happened in spite of you and somebody needed to tell you that. It stops now." His opponent had been watching him vaguely. "Being a glorified cop and writing crime books is not what changes worlds. A limited scope has obviously hindered him."

Gibbs wouldn't have cared if Kelly had decided to be a doctor, an actress, a farmer or dyed her hair purple and said she was never getting a job. He'd have held onto his daughter forever. He couldn't ever make it right for her but he could hold people responsible for hurting the one's he had gained. Gibbs would get whatever retribution he could. It would be inappropriate to kill them for their actions but standing up for his agents when they weren't able to do it for themselves? That he could handle.

The Admiral appeared to have decided not to speak again. It didn't bother him. Better that way. The silence would ensure he couldn't dig himself into a bigger hole in Gibbs' book. "Since you've decided he's not something that warrants your attention, I'm sure you don't know. But he's done important things. Went to a literal hell-hole halfway around the world to backup his partner. They saved their team member and friend. I don't really understand what he does with the computers but I know that it's not things everyone else can do. Your son is good. And he still can't stop beating himself up. Brave, faithful, honor, those are qualities that are good correct? Now you tell me that doesn't sound like somebody worthy of being an Admiral's son."

"Don't know where he got it but i'm guessing it wasn't from you. Couldn't have been. Not from somebody who abandoned their son, let him walk away. Not someone who is letting the most important thing in the world go to the wayside. I've seen your son pull off the impossible. In spite of you. And if you had any sense at all, you'd be doing everything and anything in your power to not let him get any further away from you. Your career says you should have some sense of decency, of righteousness and of honor. If you don't want him around, if you don't love him, you stay the hell away. You don't make things worse for him, you leave him alone. You'll find he's got people backing him up now. But, If you love your son, if you've ever loved him, you'll stand up. You'll tell him, not because you should but because you mean it. I don't care if he doesn't want to hear it or won't listen. You don't stop trying. You don't let him think he's worthless to you. Not even for another day. Because one day you run out of tomorrows. And Tim deserves a today."

Gibbs had probably used a yearly allotment of words. He'd have to recover from that one. It was out of character for him. He'd only do it for one of his team. He flipped the switch back up. There were no more words. Once they arrived that the main floor he left the Admiral to his own devices and headed directly for coffee. He had said what he needed to. There was no need for pleasantries or goodbyes. Even if nothing changed, and he thought it might not, he had done what he could. No one could ever accuse him of not doing what he thought could be done. Whether it turned out to work or not was a different matter. He had tried.

It didn't matter that this man outranked him or that he had the ability to make all of their lives difficult. What did matter was that this man had hurt his agent, he didn't take kindly to that. There were men in New York and Tel Aviv who he'd like to have similar chats with. This one was happened to be here. Even if the other father's had done perceivably worse things, been worse to their children, it didn't mean the Admiral could be let off free and clear. There was no justice in that.

Admiral Mcgee wasn't the corrupt swindler with little concern for his son's well being, he also wasn't Eli, who Gibbs was sure a special place in hell was being carved out for. But the Admiral had broken the rules. Mcgee should never had been anything other than exactly enough for his father. Gibbs wanted to send out a bulletin, there was no excuse. You don't screw around with your kids. You don't give up. It wasn't about being the best father in the world but it was about being there and never letting them doubt for a second that they were important and that they were loved.

When Gibbs made it back to his desk, none of the others were still there. It gave him the opportunity to take in the quiet of the empty desks before they came back and madness reigned. Tony and Ziva returned first arguing about which one's turn it had been to drive. Apparently Ziva had been usurped. As soon as he told them to knock it off, Abby and Mcgee appeared before his desk. There was no mention of the Admiral. Abby gave her report before turning to return to the lab: "Returned as promised, in one piece and a better mood." Gibbs shook his head after her. Mcgee reclaimed his desk looking like he couldn't decide whether or not to ask Gibbs about the elevator. He chose not to. Gibbs went back to his paperwork. It was a waiting game. Time would tell with the Admiral.


	3. Chapter 3

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Gibbs had been alone in the elevator with his father. Gibbs had been alone with his father. The Admiral. And Gibbs. Together. Random variations of the same thought had been flying though his head since he had left NCIS for the night. He had never worked up the courage to ask the boss what had happened. However, since nobody had come to take Gibbs away in handcuffs, he had to go with the assumption that no blood had been shed.

He had made it to his apartment on auto-pilot. Mcgee didn't have any set plans to take his mind off things. Abby had offered to skip bowling but he had told her not to. He needed time to process on his own. It was getting tiresome, having to deal with people just because you shared a genetic code.

Did he mention Gibbs had been alone with his father? Who knows what had been said between the two. Both knew things that he didn't particularly want the other to find out about. Surely nothing bad would have come up about him. Though he was under no illusion that they hadn't been talking about him. Worse, Tim knew that Gibbs had the tendency to go into overprotective "papa bear" mode as Abby had named it. The others were the ones that needed Gibbs like that. Abby, Tony, Ziva: they all had bonafide issues that Gibbs helped keep at bay. It was one of the things that prevented him from putting himself on the same level as the others when it came to Gibbs' favoritism.

Yes, he had proven his worth as an agent, he had made friendships with his teammates and Gibbs had begrudgingly accepted that Abby seemed content to keep him around. However, It was never Mcgee himself at the center of Gibbs concern. He wanted to keep it that way. His personal relationship with his family did not need to become tangled with his work. Danger arose when you became connected to people in parental ways. He didn't need it. Those issues had been packed away long ago. He had accepted and moved on. But now, Gibbs was kidnapping his father in elevators. The picture did not compute. Gibbs. Father. Bad.

He was confused and bit upset, if he was honest, so he wrote. Some of his best work had come out of tough emotions. It wasn't working this time. The meager disconnected paragraphs could have stood being burned instead of just shredded. He wanted his father to go back to wherever he had been hiding for the past years and he wanted to know what had happened in that elevator. It wasn't right for him to be kept out of the loop. This was about his life.

He had never wished more that there were surveillance cameras in the elevator. He would have remotely hacked them in seconds. Maybe he'd pitch the idea to the director. Wouldn't change anything retroactively but it would be entertaining to see some of Gibbs' private office time. Maybe they could even find out exactly what kind of barter system Gibbs and Fornell operated on. How long would it take him to realize his conversations were being recorded? Better question: would he disassemble the cameras by brute force or would some kind of telepathic mental fury cause them to explode?

Just as he'd managed to get his mind off of the renewed parental issues that had taken over his head for the past two days, there was a knock at his door. More often than not, he could tell who was at his door by their knock. Abby didn't bother, Sarah's was pushy, Ziva's quiet, and Tony's banging was, more often than not, accompanied by what he assumed DiNozzo meant to be humorous shrieking.

If Gibbs needed him, he called. In fact, the last time he could remember Gibbs being in his apartment was after he had lost the stare-off with Abby. It had taken Mcgee several minutes to resign himself to calling Gibbs to confess the Mikel Mawer debacle. That had been a fun conversation. No, this was not the knock of anyone accustomed to stopping by. Even his neighbors never really bothered him.

Opening the door led to more questions than answers. Shock was an appropriate description. His father had never been to his apartment. How did he even know where he lived? Most importantly, what the hell was he doing standing in front of him? Had they fallen into some kind of twilight zone? The Admiral looked about as uncomfortable as Tim felt, at least they were on even ground in that department.

He should probably say something. It didn't help that he was still grasping his gun. It was a reflex to bring it, at least he had refrained from pointing it at his father's head. That would have taken some explaining, definitely wouldn't have gone over well. "What are you doing here?" It wasn't exactly welcoming, but it was short notice and the best he could come up with. The Admiral kept going. "I wanted to speak with you." He did?

Mcgee barely kept the quick "why?" from escaping him. Unsure of whether or not he actually wanted to, he moved back from the door and let his father into his home. Was it him or did the door seem to close ominously behind the Admiral? He left his gun on the cabinet and led the way into his living area. The Admiral was standing in the middle of the room looking around. He wasn't even looking at his son but Mcgee couldn't help but feel as though he was being judged. His father's voice grabbed his attention. "You have a dog?" Jethro was lazily half falling out of his dog bed. Some guard dog. He returned his focus to the other human in the room. "Yes, Jethro." His father's eyebrows shot up at the name. Tim was quick on the defense that time. "I didn't name him."

The awkwardness hadn't dissipated. What did he want? Had Mcgee done something wrong? He replayed their conversation from earlier in the day but nothing stood out. "Is this about the case?" "No." Nervousness and silence didn't mix well. Mcgee pointed towards his sofa and his father seemed to be pleased at the invitation, actually he seemed pleased to have not been thrown out on sight. That was interesting.

Tim went for his desk chair but was drawn back when his father leapt from the sofa just as he sat. He turned around to find his father holding a three inch fang attached to a chain. So that was where Abby's necklace had gone. That couldn't have been comfortable. Mcgee really wanted to laugh but that would probably not be the best of ideas. His father did look a little red. "Security system?" "Occupational hazard." He retrieved the fang and settled into his desk, idly fiddling with the clasp. Mcgee waited for the bell to toll.

Now, he could afford to wait for his father to speak. He had not been sought out for decades. Was the Admiral dying or something? He spent the next few moments alternating between focusing on random items in the room and the man before him. Finally, the elder spoke: "Before you harass your sister, she didn't tell me where you live. I have my own means of finding information." Mcgee didn't doubt that. "Why did you come?" "Because I have learned more about you in one day than I have in the past ten years, probably longer. That is unacceptable." Mcgee couldn't put off his lingering question any longer. "Is this about Gibbs, because…" His father cut him off. "Agent Gibbs has a unique manner of interacting. But no, I am here because I should have been a long time ago. Your boss, despite his brashness, only helped along what I already knew."

Tim wanted to believe that Gibbs had nothing to do with his father sitting in his living room. In all fairness, he knew the situation wouldn't be there if not for him. His father would never have been there if Gibbs hadn't thrust himself into the middle of things. He had interceded and now the Admiral was before him. It was back to the waiting game. He had nothing left to say.

His father was going to have to knock the ball back into play, it was in his court after all. Mcgee had tried too hard for too long. Although he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what he had come to say, Tim couldn't pretend he wasn't interested. His father had come out of his way to do this, he was a man of routine. There was no way his apartment could be even vaguely considered convenient on any of the routes the Admiral took between work and home.

The Admiral started up again. "I should never have let things progress to this point. You are my child and I allowed you to think that I didn't care about you or your life. I could not see beyond my own concerns and expectations and I realize that I have caused the separation between you and our family. If you don't want to listen to me, if you never want to see me again, I understand. But I need you to know that you are important to me, to our family. And that you are loved. I did not come here today, for a response from you or expecting forgiveness. I needed you to know. Also, if you wanted, we would very much like you to be a part of our lives again, your mother's and mine. You don't have to say anything yet. Please, think about it. But know, that beyond all else, you are ours and we love you."

Mcgee did not doubt that his mother loved him. She was not the one who had cut him out. He still talked with her occasionally even though she had picked the side of her husband. He was still unsure about the rest. It was uncomfortable hearing his father say those things. On the off chance his father was serious, it was going to take more than one conversation.

You couldn't undo all that had passed in one setting. Mcgee wasn't even sure he believed him. What was to say it wasn't guilt or some threat by Gibbs that had landed them here? Trust had to be built. He did not trust the words. Time would tell whether or not the actions lived up to the offerings that were being made. He had been let down too many times to blindly be taken down another hopeless path. There was no automatic decision telling him the right thing to do. He just didn't know.

He knew his father had accomplished what he came to do. The Admiral was already getting up and Mcgee appreciated the gesture. Giving him the freedom to make choices was new. Just as he stood, his front door banged open and he could hear Abby's voice floating towards him as she went into the kitchen. "Timmy! I brought the food. I had to get veggie only, they were out of tofu. How can a Chinese place run out of tofu? And your father is here…" She had trailed off as she rounded in from the kitchen. The look on her face was priceless. Luckily, the Admiral took Abby in stride. "Not to worry, Miss Sciuto, I was leaving." He turned back towards Mcgee before heading out the door. "Think about what I said." Mcgee could guarantee thinking, if nothing else.


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

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Mcgee was not a fearful person for the most part. Confidence was something he had worked towards and gained. Yet here he was, afraid to even want to try and have anything to do with his father. How could one person manage to shake something you had put years of work into in one day? This was ridiculous and complicated. He had worked to uncomplicated his life, however successful that was. Yet, complications kept throwing themselves at him.

There were questions he needed to answer before he decided how far into this thing he wanted to go. More importantly he needed to decide if it was worth it to try yet again. If he did it would be for the last time. That much was certain. He could rally the energy for one more go.

Did he even want a relationship with them? Was it worth it having his father in his life? Was there anything he stood to gain or was it a pointless exercise of social convention? What would happen if they ended up right back where they started or if things managed to get even worse?

A fact, harsh but true; if his father dropped dead tomorrow, it wouldn't change his life relatively at all. It would just be a fact. An 'oh, thank you for informing me, now let us go about our day' moment. That's how finished he thought he was with this whole issue. Then people had to start coming out of the woodwork. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Being left alone had been working for years. He had grown to like the solitude.

He had Penny and Sarah and Abby. When it came down to it, Mcgee supposed he could count Tony, Ziva, Gibbs, Ducky and maybe even Palmer too. That was enough. It had been enough for years. Why expand his horizons now? He was not an exuberant person, he did not need a mass of people to call upon.

The universe seemed to have decided that he had to reopen old wounds. It was a Catch-22. If he agreed to reconnect with his father, things would not end well. Time had proven that over and over. If he didn't agree, another black mark against him. Either way the outcome was bleak.

If he started this, he couldn't check out or change his mind. It had to be all or nothing, because if this didn't work, and he honestly didn't think it would, he had to be prepared to take the blame for another failed attempt. There was no way this was going to work.

Mcgee knew that he still wasn't anywhere near what they wanted him to be. He was setting himself up for failure. People didn't change. Not really, their behavior did, the things they said, but deep down, they were the same people. Personalities just didn't meld sometimes. It wasn't always possible to make people like each other or want to be around each other.

His father had left hours before. Trying to go to bed had proven pointless. There was no way he was going to be falling asleep anytime soon. His apartment was dark. It felt invaded now, like an outsider had broken through the defenses and contaminated it. His place had been cultivated into a realm of acceptance.

Now, the shadows of the past lingered. Life was all about separation, work from home, the family he was born into versus the one he'd been given. Whenever there was overlap confusion and tension arose. Maybe he shouldn't have let his father in. Why couldn't he have just kept the door shut? He still yielded to his father's wants after all this time. At least the installment of following orders was worth something, it went over very well with Gibbs.

Being caught up in thought apparently made him lose his touch. He had always had the ability to pinpoint Abby's exact location in any room they shared, practically with his eyes closed. However, this time he didn't even realize that she had left his bedroom until she was standing before him.

Why she insisted on bringing the comforter from his bed with her when there were plenty of other blankets he had yet to determine. It was one of the Abbyisms that were better to just accept and go with. She fit herself into the space he wasn't taking up on the sofa and attempted to free enough of the material she was cocooned in to cover him as well. "You left." "Couldn't sleep." "I could hear you thinking all the way in there." "Sorry." "I wasn't complaining. Want to talk about it?"

He didn't respond for long enough that she started to fall back asleep lulled by the steady beat of his heart. Just before she was back in dreamland, he spoke. "I think he's been researching me. He never could just ask me anything. Has to go all trench coat and dark glasses. He knows where I live, he knew your last name. It's little things that don't seem all that odd at the time."

"Things Penny or Sarah either wouldn't tell him or wouldn't think to tell him. He did it when I first left for college, he always seems to know things without me telling him. I can't do the constant watching again, living in fear of doing something wrong, knowing that whatever you do, it will never be what he wants. He pumps you for information then uses it against you. I just want my own life. Is that wrong?" He felt her shake her head against his chest but he wasn't done. If he didn't get out what he had to say, he never would.

"My father always manages to take everything. It's like some black hole lives in his head. Everything gets sucked in and there is nothing you can do to stop it. He twists things until they seem unreasonable and wrong. Everything has to be to his specifications, his terms. Whatever I want or do, exposing it to him, makes it all worthless."

"I have a lot more to lose this time. Back then, I didn't have anything, almost nothing I could call my own. I don't want to change my life, not when I finally have things I want." He was finally done laying out his position. Mcgee was watching her, waiting for the response he knew couldn't be far away. Abby had been managing to keep her opinions to herself concerning his situation.

"But you still want your dad." One statement and he was already glaring at her. "It's okay to want that Tim. It's what we do, basic science, human nature. If you're really done, we'll move on and never talk about the Admiral again. But if you want to see him again, nobody's going to abandon you. Or think less of you. It's not one way or the other. He can't take anything away anymore. You're stuck with us. Good luck trying to break free. We've invested far too much to let you go on your way. Besides, I kind of like having you around."

Well, he wasn't glaring at her anymore. He was more quizzical now. That had to count for something. "If I do this, if I'm going to try to see if any of this can be fixed, Abby, you have got to promise me something. Swear, that no matter what they say, what you find out, that it won't change anything. Because I can't stand the thought of you looking at me like they do. Not anyone on the team, but especially not you."

The fact that he was dead serious made her hate his parents just a little. And she was really trying to keep a neutral opinion. Instead of let him in on her shift in mood, she burrowed closer into his side. "Mcgee. When have I ever let anyone tell me what to think." "Never." "Then why on Earth would I start now?"

Of course, she wouldn't let them change anything. Deep down he knew that. Nobody told Abby what to do, who to be, how to think, anything. It was part of the reason he'd loved her since day one. She had always understood him, and him her. It was an equal playing field between them.

No matter what, he did not want to go back to being the person he had been a decade ago. Stuck believing nothing was ever going to get better, lost in obligations that could never be fulfilled. Back then he had only held dim hopes of what could happen in the future. Agent, author, team member, family those were words in his vocabulary now. Years ago he couldn't have forseen any of it. He was willing to fight for them.

Abby did not want to see him hurt. But she couldn't deny that she knew, deep down, that he wanted to take this chance. It had been a long time since he'd properly seen his family, he wasn't as malleable as when she'd first met him. This time he knew how to stand up for himself. She knew that he wanted to take the opportunity with everything that he had.

Mr. pessimism couldn't help being a bit optimistic. If he wanted to, she would support his decision. If he chose not to try, well she understood. Kind of. There were people in her life that she never wanted to see again. People who had hurt her and left her broken. Just because she couldn't imagine wanting nothing to do with her parents, didn't mean that she couldn't accept his decision.

Abby knew better than the rest of the team what Mcgee's childhood had been like. It had always been easier for him to talk to her. She understood why it wasn't hard for him to push aside whatever he wanted and divert to everyone else's choices, Tony and Ziva didn't even realize it was happening.

She got why he had come to the deluded conclusion, with complete acceptance on his part, that he would never be enough for her. He had never thought he was enough for anyone before. But Mcgee was wrong, her commitment issues aside, he had always been more than enough for her. She'd been trying to fix that mindset of his for awhile now. When you were used to constant disappointment, it was what you came to expect. Words could be the greatest weapon.

The clock read an unsightly hour in the morning. It would be a double caffeine morning for both of them. He looked down at the mass of waves her hair became when freed from the braids. "Want to go back to bed or stay?" "Stay." They both nudged about until they found a position that could be considered conducive to sleep. "What if he's only doing this because of Gibbs?" "What if he's not?" Her sleepy answer reverberated in his skull. What if he's not?


	5. Chapter 5

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Mcgee was going to try. One more time. He would be open minded and remember who he was now. Okay, he would try to do the first one but he was defiantly doing the second. This did not have to blow up in his face. Dialing a phone number was all it would take to get the ball rolling. He had hacked pretty much every government computer system they had come across, from the CIA to Mossad. He would not be defeated by a short series of numbers. It wasn't even a direct line.

All interaction for the moment was being dumped on some poor unsuspecting secretary in his father's office. Since he had procrastinated for so long, he was almost late for work. It had already been days since Mcgee had made his decision. Time to stop the wishy-washy nonsense and dial the number. Waiting was only achieving driving himself crazy. Okay. Area code first. No going back.

The message he had left had been simple. He would meet with them. Not much beyond that, what and when he left up to the Admiral's determination. Mcgee didn't really care and his father more than likely did, best to just let him have the semblance of control. The edict had been sent back via the same person he had spoken with before. Dinner. He could do that. Dinner would be good. There would be food to serve as a distraction. A positive.

A negative: he was expected to go to the house. Neutral territory would have been preferable, but he could work with the house. He wasn't ready for any more intrusions into his apartment and he didn't think a public space would be the best idea if things went sour.

At least there would have been witnesses. Oh well. It had been just as long as the last time he'd spoken to his father since he'd been in the house he grew up in. Why not do it all at once and get it over with?

He had also received the message that it didn't have to be just the three of them. Someone else would be good, give them another person to hopefully breakup the awkwardness. He thought about his sister but she couldn't be trusted to behave. The last thing he needed were Sarah's issues infiltrating the war zone.

Still, he really didn't want to go alone. That would be a recipe for the the Admiral to have a captive audience. He needed someone who would be on his side. Someone who would not let him be sucked back into the vortex. He'd almost invite Gibbs solely for the look on everyone's faces.

Seriously, there was an idea that Mcgee had been turning over in his head. There was only one choice. Perhaps it wasn't such a horrific notion. No matter how much he wanted her there, he didn't want to throw her into the lions' den. Could he risk it? She had promised. Plus, if things didn't go well she would probably drag him outside, tell him that his father could go to hell and he had better start driving because she wanted tacos and the place she liked was miles away. It would make him feel better. She was good at that.

He had thrown caution to the wind, a new trend in his life, and asked Abby to go with him. Consequences could be worried about afterwards. It was how then ended up sitting in his parents' driveway waiting for Mcgee to work up the desire to get out of the car. "How long has it been since you've been here?" She didn't get an answer. Instead he pushed open his door and was around the car opening her's before she had a chance to fully dissect his lack of response. That long. She got out of the car and waited for him to move but he didn't. "Mcgee, relax. It's just dinner. It will be fine."

Self doubt was coming back in a big way. This was a disaster waiting to happen. "That's what they want you to think. You'll stay tonight?" She stuck out her finger. Only Abby still held a belief in pinky promises. However, they meant something to her, so they meant something to him. He grabbed hers with his own and didn't let go. Instead, he took the rest of her hand and headed for the front door. His parents really needed a welcome sign. Something tasteful like: "Abandon all hope all ye who enter here." Fitting.

The actual dinner itself wasn't bad. The eating portion required little conversation beyond basic topics that you wouldn't have to know anything about a person to converse over. The good passed far too quickly. His mother was warm and his father wasn't. Expected. But the Admiral was on his best behavior. His father really was good with people, just not him. The clock was ticking on how long the father-son equilibrium would last.

Outsiders looking in would have seen a pseudo-normal family get together. Granted things were tense and it obviously wasn't a boisterous affair but it was a vast improvement from the cricket filled silence of the past years. Based on the beginning, Mcgee thought there was a chance that all was not lost. It wasn't even comfortable but maybe it had the potential to become so.

Once the actual dinner part had finished, Abby had been wandering the main floor of the house. Mcgee found her returning to his side long before he figured her exploration would have been over. "Want to see what I found?" "Is it that picture in the sailor outfit? I don't ever want to see it again, thanks." "No, but I saw that too. How old were you in that one anyway? Thirteen? Wait. Not the point. Actually, I think you might want to see this." He allowed himself to be led over to the bookshelves. "What am I looking at?" She hugged onto his arm and watched his eyes glide over the glossy covers before them. "If you look closely, I think you'll find the complete works of Thom E. Gemcity. Your books. Every one of them."

Heartwarming was the only word he could associate with seeing his books in their living room. It was too sappy but nothing else came to mind. He continued staring at the books as Abby drew away and drifted back towards his mother. They should have left then. Before his father decided to talk with him, without the influence of his mother's presence. She was, after all, more than likely requiring the civility. They had always had a half existing relationship, he could believe that she would want him more involved in her life. Mcgee should never have let himself be drawn aside. Moth to the flame.

His father didn't waste much time getting started. "We always thought you would have settled down by now. That you would be somewhere more stable in your life. Career, wife, family." Maybe the Admiral was going for sentimental or nostalgic but Mcgee was interested in neither. The danger signs were flashing.

"Is this about Abby? Because if you say one word about her I'm walking out that door right now." "It's not about her. Honestly. Is she who your mother and I ever imagined you with? No. Initially, I thought you were with her as some kind of phase. A bit of shock value that was a part of you evicting yourself from the family. But that is a non-issue at this point. Our issue, right now, is that you never came back to your family."

Mcgee fumbled for a moment. It wasn't so one sided. For years, he had wanted to round up his whole family and scream that he wasn't a ridiculous person. Thank you and good night. Just because he wasn't like them didn't mean that he was a puzzle that had to be solved or something wrong that needed to be fixed. "You never gave me a reason to. I stopped contacting you but nobody cared enough to try and make me come home. It wasn't worth it. Nothing I've ever done has been about rebellion."

He had only ever wanted them to see him and accept him, not skirt around him and leave him clinging to the edges of the group. If he had a child who had decided to stop talking to his parents; Mcgee would have found them, broken down the door and carted them back home. He should have been worth the effort. He wanted to be enough. After all these years.

They should have depended upon the meaning of family and not picked over the parts they wanted. The easy pieces. This is why he had been done with the Admiral for so long. It always came back to pushing every problem onto him. Mcgee saw red and felt some fundamental shift occur within himself.

"You just can't stop, can you? I didn't come here looking for an evaluation. I'm not out for revenge. I just wanted a normal night. One night. My life is not up for debate. I don't need to marry Abby. I need to be with her. I am good at what I do, really good. I don't need promotions. You think I don't get offered them? I like being on Gibbs' team. I don't need you to try and fix my life. I've already done that. It's fixed, I'm good and if you can't accept that then it was pointless coming here."

Abby had been with Mcgee's mom for awhile. Leaving Mcgee and the Admiral unsupervised was a calculated risk. From the odd word she could hear, voices were being raised. Yet, she was actually enjoying being alone with his mother. She was eons better than the Admiral. "I saw that you have his books." "Yes, his sister told me when he published the first. They're quite intriguing. From what I've heard recently, I assume the characters are more real than I previously thought. At any rate, he described you very well. Is he planning another?"

She was proud of her son. Abby could tell, beyond question, from the way she spoke about him. Wouldn't all of their lives have been easier if she'd just told him, taught him to ignore his father and focus on the truth. Her parents hadn't been biological but they had still told her everyday, over and over, that they loved her and she was special. There was no doubt how they felt about her. She didn't understand this other world.

Mcgee knew that he couldn't stay another minute. Not tonight. It was too much too quickly. They should have started smaller. In order to save any of the progress, he had to leave before everything went totally up in flames. Returning to where he had left Abby, he kissed his mother on the cheek. As he turned back around to look at her she noticed the odd look in his eyes. "Let's go home." The Admiral was still standing in the doorway watching. Cozy familiarity wasn't a part of his makeup by any means. Abby said her goodbyes to Mcgee's mother and followed him out.

They had been back at his apartment long enough for the erratic energy to partially subside. Partially. He had been thinking about everything that had been said. Mcgee half wished he could erase it all, but half of him wouldn't redo a word. He had essentially talked back to his father for the first time in his life. Maybe it would blow up in his face but he had taken a chance. A wild idea took hold in his head. Apparently, with everything else he'd been undertaking lately, he had a death wish anyway. Why not go ahead and throw the rest of the nails in the coffin?

He looked over at Abby, who he assumed was trying to see exactly how close she could get to breaking the no dog on the furniture rule before he said something. She had figured out a technicality. Dog on blanket on sofa. Totally how that rule worked. Blunt Mcgee could stick around for a few more minutes. Reckless abandon was new. He might as well go with it.

"Abby?" "He's not touching the fabric." "I don't care about Jethro right now." Clearly she wasn't expecting that, he had gotten her attention. "What's wrong Timmy?" "We've been doing this a long time. You stay here more than you don't. Every time I ask, you say yes. Your things are here. You are here. But, I'm tired of having to worry that you won't be. So, will you stay? For good?"


	6. Chapter 6

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The rest of their weekend went by and it was back to real life. Mcgee had been the first one into the office Monday morning. Not unusual since Ziva had adopted the new habit of arriving barely before Tony. Gibbs had given Mcgee permission to help Abby since the forensics were all that what was left to finish on their case.

It had taken a good portion of the morning. When he returned Tony and Ziva were both giving the illusion of working. Actually, Ziva probably was working. Tony on the other hand had managed to navigate to a game that wasn't blocked on the government internet. Once Mcgee reached his desk, Tony turned his attention away from his computer. He looked a little too pleased with himself.

"Good morning Mcgoo!" Mcgee had every right to be suspicious. Too many things had happened when Tony got bored. Things that weren't usually pleasant to try and fix. "What did you do?" "Nothing, nothing, how was your weekend, do anything fun?" "Fine and you know what I was doing." DiNozzo wasted no time. His ulterior motives must be somewhere near the surface. "Ah yes, the reunion with the parental unit. Oh, speaking of your family, I had the privilege of talking with the lovely Sarah this morning and do I have a message for you! And I quote: "Have you fallen and hit your head? Do you have a fever? You went home? And didn't tell me. Now you won't return my calls. I want to know what's going on. Now. Call. Me. Back." End quote."

Mcgee rolled his eyes but he did have to hand it to Tony, he really nailed the screechiness that his sister was capable of. "Did you answer my desk phone again?" "Of course not." "So my sister called your phone did she?" "In my defense, It was ringing really loud and she's very persistent." Tony was giving it a valiant effort to look believable. For some reason, Mcgee still didn't buy it. "Ziva?" She answered without even lifting her eyes from whatever she was doing. "He also spoke to someone from the cyber department and another call he didn't tell me about."

After Ziva's admission about his behavior, Mcgee snapped his head back towards Tony. "Like I said: very loud ringer, you should really have somebody look at that. About the other call, why exactly are you talking to a realtor? Your not going to try fleeing the state are you? Because let me tell you, that only works for a little while, they find you eventually." Before Mcgee could respond, Gibbs was approaching armed with coffee. DiNozzo never saw the headslap coming. "Stop answering his phone." Done dealing with one agent and lacking anything to reprimand Ziva for, he turned to Mcgee. "You, with me." Without question, he followed Gibbs to the elevator.

Gibbs hit the button for autopsy then stopped the elevator. He didn't speak. Was this about punishment? Mcgee couldn't think of anything he'd done recently to warrant a chat in Gibbs' personal office. Once the silence started to get to him, he realized he would have to break it. Gibbs had the patience of a saint, he'd hold out all day. "Boss?" Gibbs appeared to be trying to read his mind. Not exactly the best way to start a conversation with your boss. "You talk to your parents?" He hadn't expected that question. "Some. My mom more." A gruff nod was the only response granted. Mcgee was unsure the point behind his intrigue. It was off-putting.

Evidently Gibbs had deduced all he wanted to know because he moved to restart the elevator. His hand froze as Mcgee spoke, "Uh, Boss?" Rather than wait for Gibbs to decide to verbalize his questioning look, Mcgee decided it would be better to get what he had to say out of the way. They were already in the elevator after all. "You should probably know that I'm getting a new place." "Good, if that's what you want." Gibbs answer was automatic. That part wasn't what was going to get him killed. The second half though, he might ought have shared this in an open space, where he at least had a chance to run.

"It is." Mcgee paused. Gibbs almost never made him nervous anymore. Still, he was managing it in spades today. Gibbs was officially looking at him like he was mentally cracking up. "Something else, Mcgee?" "Abby's coming with me." He'd had to push his statement out, better to get it over with quickly. Mcgee really thought Gibbs might have a stroke, or throttle him, for a split second, but the boss recovered quickly.

"We talking about the same Abby? How'd you get her to agree to that?" Mcgee didn't think an answer was technically required but he began trying to come up with something suitable to be on the safe side. Then Gibbs was half laughing as he restarted the elevator. "Relax, Mcgee. It's not like I haven't figured out how often she comes in to work with you." He said nothing else on the matter and Mcgee didn't push as their descent resumed. Frankly, he'd gotten off a bit easy.

Following his conversation with Gibbs, the rest of his day went fairly well. The days that followed passed smoothly in turn. Then he checked his phone one day to find a message from his father. It wasn't what he'd call amiable but it wasn't the worst message he'd ever received from the Admiral. Mcgee meant to respond, he really had planned on it, but then they got a case. The case kept them busy through the night and most of the next three days. Just as things were finally calming down, they'd even been able to sleep at their own homes, his mother called.

Apparently, the Admiral was using a middle man now. He was planning to call back, he just wasn't used to remembering to call his parents. He didn't think about it. He hadn't thought about it in years. When her number had first flashed on the screen he had considered letting it go, it was his first night off in days. Being down in the lab didn't help, Abby had seen the phone and started hissing at him to answer, it was his mother after all. Right before it would have been sent to voicemail he picked it up. If only he could turn back time.

His father was indeed using her as a go between. He hadn't received what he deemed an appropriate response in a reasonable amount of time. The Admiral probably even viewed himself as being lenient. The opening of the conversation was all right. His mother was fine. He didn't mind talking to her. She asked about his day and other typical mom questions. Then his father had taken the phone. Cue the doom music.

"You will answer your mother, but not me?" The first sentence and it wasn't starting well. The Admiral wasn't happy, more so than normal. What came next could best be described as a flashback to every conversation he'd ever had with his father from the age of four to the day he gave up. He had not followed orders. The Admiral expected him to fall back in line. As if it was easy. There was no hint that anything had changed. He had been gone and now he was back. That was still all that his father saw. No change. He would do as told. The Admiral had missed the point. For the millionth time.

Mcgee lasted a few minutes after hanging up before he couldn't stay trapped in a room anymore. He was leaving. No idea where he was going, but he wasn't waiting for Abby anymore. She had driven her own car and he was only waiting to walk her out. Switching his plan, Mcgee waved goodbye to her from his spot in her office. She was in the ballistics room up to her arms in guns. If she intended to question him, he didn't know. He was gone before she could make it out of the room to talk to him.

A few hours later, McGee was what one might classify as drunk. It probably had not been the best idea to decide for the first time in his life to drown his sorrows in alcohol. He wasn't Gibbs. Aside from his latest poor decision, He never should have agreed to reconnect with his family. In fact, he should have never spoken to any of them again. He was mad. Mad at his father, his family and by extent: the world. So he'd stopped at a bar he'd never been to and ordered drinks he'd never tried. Drinking alone, mixing liquors. Kind of cliche. His whole life was rapidly turning into a cliche. The prodigal son gone wrong. Bad mood didn't begin to cover it.

No driving for him. Not when he wasn't even one hundred percent sure which key started his car anymore. The bartender had cut him off about the point he had started scowling at everything that moved. He was supposed to be calling someone. That is what the waitress had told him. This was his personal debate. Abby would be understanding but he couldn't deal with that right now. Actually, come to think if it, she'd probably be angry. He hadn't exactly called her to tell her what was going on. She's be worried. He didn't do things like this. When she got worried, she got mad.

Okay. Angry Abby was scary. No calling Abby. He was down to few options. Sighing he dialed Tony's number. After surviving several minutes of "Tim McGee, my probie, drunk? Have you lost your way?" Tony had agreed to come rescue him from calling a cab. Or worse, Gibbs. He had no idea how much time elapsed until he could see Tony sliding into the seat next to him.

"McDrunkard." How Tony could remain that serious while he said such things McGee still had not figured out. "Thanks for coming." McGee made to get up but tony stopped him. "If I take you home this wasted, Abby will think I had something to do with it. You're sobering up a little before we go anywhere." Mcgee didn't protest, sticking around would put off having to go home and figure out if Abby had been upset enough to go to her own apartment.

Tony's voice pulled him back into his present circumstance. "What's up Mcgee?" "Nothing." "Right. How many times have you been drunk in your life?" "Couple." "And what made you think tonight was good? Not that I'm against the occasional night of drinking but you have to work tomorrow." Mcgee shrugged. There hadn't been much thought process that went into anything he'd done in the past few hours. He hadn't done anything wrong and he was in trouble again. Stupid fathers. His made everything bad. It wasn't fair. Was it supposed to be like this?

He looked over at Tony and a lightbulb went on. "Hey! You hate your father!" Tony was looking at him like he was losing touch with reality. Maybe he was. Could be the booze. "I don't hate my father." Huh. He could have sworn Tony did. Maybe he was mirroring his own issues onto his friend. He should have paid more attention when the psych people came to talk. Oh well, he could be alone in his club. "Well, I hate mine."

"Is that what this is about?" Mcgee didn't answer him again but made a quick game of shredding the napkin from under his empty glass. They'd been waiting for awhile now, Tony had decided he could go home. Sitting in the bar seemed to be making matters worse not better. After being informed of this decision, Mcgee looked towards his keys sitting on the bar where he'd left them after amusing himself by walking his keychain back and forth across the surface.

"I'll have to ask Abby to come help me get my car tomorrow." "Negative, Probie. Ziva and I were having movie night. She dropped me off. We can't let the Porsche get towed now can we?" Mcgee tried to process this chain of events but decided not to put the effort into it. Bottom line: his car would be at his apartment in the morning. Tony was being Tonyish again. "Yes Timmy, I finally get to drive your car." DiNozzo claimed his keys and stood up before turning back to him. "Can you even walk?" McGee tried to prove that he could, thought he was doing decently but Tony grabbed the back of his jacket and directed him anyway. They made it to the vehicle with little incident aside from the general wobbliness of the experience.

One short drive later and they were pulling into his parking space. The two made their way to his front door and Mcgee watched blankly as Tony attempted to figure out which key opened the deadbolt. He shouldn't have bothered. A few seconds after Tony had tried opening the door, it had swung open from the inside. "Timothy Mcgee. What were you thinking?" In fixating on his father, he'd forgotten about Abby. Bad. More bad things. Bad things because of fathers.

Before he could think of something to say to justify his experiments with irresponsibility, Tony was saving him from answering. "He's a little depressed." "Hence why he doesn't drink. Help me get him inside?" Mcgee felt himself being frogmarched between Abby and Tony into his living room. He was left to deal with himself after they dropped him on the sofa and Abby walked Tony back to the door.

With Tony gone, he waited for Abby to come back. She wasn't happy. When Abby wasn't happy, nobody was happy. Well he wasn't happy, maybe he was nobody. Before he realized anything had changed, he found himself looking at the buckles of her belt. His eyes kept making her move when she standing still. Drinking was bad. Facing her now might make his punishment shorter, he was still kind of drunkish.

Maybe she'd be forgiving. It took a minute as he tried to get his head to cooperate at looking at her face on. Just as he thought he'd gotten it right, he found she'd changed to sitting beside him. Staring him down. "Hey. I don't leave, you don't leave. Remember?" "I didn't leave, I was always coming here. Got…lost…" Abby didn't seem to have such a problem with his new activities. Maybe she did. He wasn't sure. Talking was confusing. She was talking again. "Okay. We'll deal with that later. Want to tell me why you're trying to get ticketed for public intox?"

No, he didn't as the matter of fact. But when Abby wanted answers she got them. Gibbs must have been giving her lessons because she had the interrogation stare down. "I shouldn't have answered the phone." "Tony said you were talking about your dad?" Mcgee nodded, he must have missed some conversation they had been having about him. At any rate, alcohol might make him say things he shouldn't say, best to keep it all inside. Abby didn't believe in keeping words inside. "Tim, if this whole thing is messing you up this bad. Maybe you shouldn't keep going. You don't go out and get drunk. You don't not call me. You don't scare me like that. You left and I didn't know where you were for hours. Tony texted me. Tony. Not you. Is this still what you want?"


	7. Chapter 7

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

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When Mcgee woke up it took a minute to remember what had happened. Then he realized he could still taste tequila. Lovely. Further inventory revealed that his head was pounding and if he focused for more than three seconds, the tattoos on Abby's shoulders started to dance. He was pretty sure they didn't actually do that. It was still dark out, but he could tell the sun would be rising any minute. It would be a wise idea to head to the bathroom.

A screeched yelp met his first attempt to make it out of the bed. Jethro's vocalization and accompanying scampering paws, mixed with his general fumbling, woke Abby who had jumped up and was chasing the dog before Mcgee could process what was happening. He didn't mean to step on him. On his second attempt he made it up successfully. He spotted Abby curled up on the floor communing with Jethro as he finally made it to the next room. Great start.

Thankfully, Abby didn't mention the previous night, which probably meant she was biding her time, but he wasn't going to think about it. He had bigger problems. Seriously, how did Gibbs drink so much bourbon and never seem hungover? Tony hopefully would be sympathetic, he'd come to work hungover before. Ziva didn't know what he'd done, right? Most of all, maybe Gibbs wouldn't notice. That was plausible.

Upon arrival to work, Mcgee decided it best to play hug the wall. This option got him off the elevator, around Tony's desk and into his own chair with relative ease. Oh, for the love all of that was holy, why did whoever built this building think a sky light was a good idea? Gibbs was going to bench him. If he didn't send him home.

Slowly, the others filtered in. Nobody said anything about his current state and he was pretty sure he actually looked green. They were probably awaiting Gibbs' reaction. It wasn't long after they were all three seated and waiting that their boss appeared holding caf-pow and his own source of caffeine. Gibbs actually looked taken aback when his eyes landed on Mcgee.

With growing weariness, Mcgee watched as Gibbs carefully placed the cups on his desk and went around to the shelves behind it. Gibbs picked up the largest book he had and slammed it on his desk. Mcgee kind of wanted to curl up and die right then. Loud, so loud. It had been a test. He had failed. Gibbs knew.

Without a word to any of them, he reclaimed the cups and headed for the stairs. Apparently Gibbs was taking the Abby approach and letting him stew. Couldn't he just have given the verdict now? Plan appear normal had failed. Valiantly. With Gibbs gone, Tony took no time in starting up. "See Mcgee, drinking on a school night. No good. Too bad I can't give you my hangover remedy, I'd have to kill you."

Ziva broke in. "Be nice." "That's rich coming from the assassin." Mcgee left them to their banter. Wait. How did Ziva know? Then it vaguely came back to him. Movie night. How did it always work out that everyone knew everything? Oh well, He'd seen the karaoke video of her. At least there was no video evidence from his inebriated evening. What little hope to cling to. It would be best to make sure that bar's security footage was destroyed. Where had he been again?

One short walk later and Gibbs arrived in the lab where he made quick work of turning off the music and depositing the drink in front of Abby with one fluid motion. "Tell me one reason I shouldn't send Mcgee home right now." "He's not drunk anymore. I made sure." "Try again." "We all had a rough night." "All?" "Me, Mcgee, Tony, Jethro." "Jethro?" The name was out before he could stop the question. "Mcgee stepped on him, but I don't think he's hurt."

Gibbs sighed, he really couldn't care less about the dog, even if it was one of Abby's priorities. "When did you see DiNozzo last night?" "When he brought Mcgee home." Gibbs considered for her a few seconds, probably his whole team had been involved in Mcgee's drunk fest. Sometimes you had to be round about with Abby. "Still not a good enough reason." Something had happened and he wanted, no, expected answers.

"You two get in a fight?" "No! But I don't know what's going on or how to deal with this. He scared me. I've seen him drink but never like that. I don't know what to do, Gibbs. His dad called yesterday. He hasn't told me what was said but it obviously wasn't good. This whole reconnection thing isn't working."

"Does Mcgee see it that way?" "I don't know. I really wanted it to work for him. Everybody deserves their family. But he's not happy and I don't know how to help." Gibbs leaned in to kiss her cheek as he prepared to leave. "Talk to him, Abs. You'll figure it out." She'd do fine. He was confident. She had a great example, Mcgee had put her back together enough times.

So it was the father issue again. Gibbs had needed to make sure, didn't want to start down the wrong path if his people's current, generally worked-up, states were the result of inter-team dating. Shockingly that would be easier to fix. Smack Mcgee on the back of the head, stare down Abby, remind them both that rule 12 had existed for a reason and send them both home with each other to sort out their problems. That he had a plan for.

This new influx of parenting ramifications was requiring him to come up with new tactics. He knew how to deal with the other three, Mcgee was new territory. Did he get involved? Stay away? He'd have to think about it. After Mcgee had dodged the bullet and been given permission to stay, the day looked a little brighter. Maybe not all was lost. As the hours passed, Mcgee even began to feel more human.

Furthermore, nobody mentioned what had gone on the night before once Tony had lost interest in his monologue. It had been a short one too, even Tony was giving him a break. He'd been waiting the whole day for Gibbs to cart him into the elevator and let loose. It still hadn't happened. Gibbs had left with Fornell and they had been cleared to go home. Was it good or bad that Gibbs hadn't said anything? It didn't really matter.

Mcgee made the trek down to Abby's lab to wait for her. Luckily she was gathering her things and his wait was cut short. Despite his renewed ability to function like a civilized person, all he wanted to do was go home. You didn't have to pretend at home. Though Abby kept up her usual chatterbox conversation all the way home, he could tell she was distracted. His direct participation in her selection of topics was unnecessary during the drive, stopping to pick up food and returning to his apartment. It wasn't until after they had eaten and he had turned on the television that he felt like he was being watched.

He looked over to find her staring at him, rather than the screen, from her perch sitting sideways on the sofa. "What?" "We need to talk." So she was done biding her time. He'd known this was coming eventually. Abby wasn't one to let things go, unless she was the one doing the avoiding. "Mcgee, What happened yesterday?" "I'm sorry for not calling you." "Thank you, but I actually wasn't talking about that. You know what I mean. Why?"

Why? He wasn't entirely sure. He could say because he'd thought it might help. But that wasn't true. He hadn't really been thinking actually, not about where he was going. Instead, he'd been wondering if he'd made a horrible mistake. People didn't change. He knew this. But he had. Changed. So why could he if his father couldn't?

Happy memories didn't include his father. Why had he thought his father would have been happy with him now? He hadn't changed enough. He hadn't done enough. It would never be enough. He could see that now. This was a failure. They were stalemated in an epic disaster that there was no positive way out of. This project should have never been started.

"I was thinking about mistakes. I made another one. I couldn't come home after talking to him, and I wasn't ready to tell you what he said. I didn't want it to be real yet." "Do you think this whole thing has been a mistake?" "I'm not sure yet. I haven't decided." Mcgee was apparently done with his half of the conversation. Unacceptable. None of them had been given any idea what was going on except him. The evasiveness and despondency weren't going to cut it. As much as he obviously didn't want to, Mcgee was going to have to talk.

If he wasn't going to come out and say what had gone on, she was going to have to ask. Someone had to know, she couldn't help if she didn't know. "What did he say?" "I'm worthless." "He said that?" Abby was outraged. She had progressed passed her usual piercing exclamations to the deathly quiet voice that he didn't suggest anyone ever provoke out of her. "He didn't use that word, not exactly, but the sentiment remains the same. Still, after everything." "You don't believe him do you?" He didn't answer her soon enough. "Timothy Mcgee. Tell me that you don't believe him."

"Of course not." He took too long. Abby had already gotten her answer. He might not want to believe it but some part of him did. Some fundamental part that couldn't be undone with ease. Abby had abandoned the far side of the sofa and not stopped until she was practically in his lap. He let her take his face in her hands and draw him into looking at her face on, eye to eye. "You're not. You can't believe that. Nothing I love is worthless. Nothing. Especially not you."

She was being honest with an openness that didn't tend to come around very often. It wasn't until she went to kiss him that he realized she had started crying. He could feel the tears. He hated it when she cried. It was a personal mission to never make her cry, to hurt whoever did. "Hey, Abby It's okay." "No, It's not. It is not okay. Not if you believe what he says for even a second."


	8. Chapter 8

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

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Gibbs hadn't expected what he found when he entered the lab the next morning. He'd stopped for Abby's morning caf-pow, along with his coffee, and then he had entered her domain only to find her slamming down every object she moved in the search for some missing artifact. It was best to proceed with caution. "Abs?" She threw down the rest of the test tubes she'd been assaulting as she flipped around to face him.

"That horrible, horrible man." "Mcgee?" "Yes." "The one you live with or the other one?" Not even a smile. "Not funny Gibbs." No room for joking. He hadn't seen her this mad in a long time. A limited number of topics could achieve this level of rage out of her. "Mcgee talk to you?" "Yes. And because he was in this everything in the world is his fault mood, I couldn't be mad last night. So off you go, because I'd like to continue being mad right now."

Finding it best to leave her to it, or risk personal harm, Gibbs went to locate the rest of his team. All three of them were seated at their desks looking perfectly fine. Before he could even sit down, his phone was ringing in their latest case. Refreshing way to start your morning, fishing dead bodies out of infested ponds. It was going to be a long day. Luckily he had people he could force to do the unsavory task. Which one would be earning the privilege today? Where had DiNozzo gone?

After locating DiNozzo and forcing him to come to terms with that fact that he would be the one wading in the cesspool, Gibbs stayed long enough to ensure that his senior agent was actually going to do it. DiNozzo really should know that the looks of disdain he was shooting at Gibbs didn't affect him at all, only made it more entertaining. He left Tony to it, aided by Ziva's helpful suggestions concerning body collection, from the safety of dry land.

Gibbs headed back to the office with Mcgee. Gibbs had a director to update and Mcgee a paper trail to follow. Somehow, simply updating the director had turned into an argument about the running of the agency which stretched into a multi-hour debate. By the time Gibbs was able to evacuate the director's office, it was well past the allotted time that he had given his team to work.

Approaching his desk revealed Mcgee alone. Good, he could start his non-work related interfering without an audience or worrying about getting Mcgee alone. Before Gibbs could begin speaking he was being cut off. "Boss, about those records, they should be here soon. I know you said two hours but Ziva's contact in the State Department took awhile to call back and then Tony tried to flirt his way in and I think we're probably going to get another sexual harassment complaint, but he really didn't mean for it to sound the way it did. We still don't have them and Ducky thinks that…"

This was never going to end. "Hey!" That shut him up. Did they really think talking as quickly as they could for as long as they could worked? Every single one of them utilized that little trick, rambling on and on, hoping he'd forget what he wanted to say. Honestly. He hadn't forgotten yet and he didn't intend to start.

"Mcgee, been hearing some scuttlebutt, want to tell me what's been going on?" "You talked to Abby?" Mcgee was just shy of panic setting in. Of course he had. There was some direct link that enabled Gibbs to hunt out information starting with her. She kept no secrets from Gibbs. What had she said? Had she been editing? Or giving some Abby version of events that required putting logical thought aside to follow? Mcgee's mental tangent was broken off by Gibbs. "This isn't about her. I want to know what you think."

Mcgee went directly to firing off danger signals in his head. Was this an intervention? Gibbs wasn't usually the one heading them up. He looked over at Gibbs. The man was hard to read. Did he go through training for that lack of expression or come by it naturally? "It doesn't matter." Gibbs gave some barely perceivable shift in his gaze. "That's where we have a problem." "Problem, Boss?" The walls seemed to be shrinking in on him. Inches disappearing before his eyes. It was too small, there was no space. Was it getting hotter?

"Well yeah, Mcgee. I'd say it's a problem if you're going to let an Admiral on a power trip make you question your choices, your whole life. Don't care if he is your father. He might think he has the upper hand but you can change that. You're the one who can break it. I don't allow my people to take the kinds of things that I hear he's been saying from anyone."

Gibbs was telling him he could take on his father? Gibbs was insane. There was no other option. He and Gibbs didn't have talks like this. Alternate reality must be setting in, next he'd come to and find himself sanding something in Gibbs' basement batcave. That would be problematic. He didn't know how to sand.

"It really doesn't matter Boss." "You are one of my people. It matters. You matter." While Mcgee was waiting for the shock to wear off, he watched Gibbs switch his view to something behind his back before he gave Mcgee a final look and started heading towards the stairs. His mind was on overload. He was winding his way back to things do not compute mode. Had Gibbs lost his mind? Or was he trying to give Mcgee back his?

While the gears in his head were still spinning he watched Abby circle his desk and felt her arms wrap around his neck. "Wow Mcgee. I think you just got a promise of eternal devotion from Gibbs." "How long have you been there?" "Not long." "You need something?" "No, but I happen to know a weak spot in the security defenses of a certain government agency, if you'd like to exploit it."

Abby's tip had worked and it had been back to the case for the rest of the day. Gibbs' words had been pushed to the back of his mind, though they kept trying to break onto center stage. Taking on the Admiral. Laughable. But abandoning the current situation might not be.

That could break the upper hand, by totally annihilating the situation. Interesting. Still yet, self doubt was rising. Maybe it was him. Maybe he didn't know how to be family. Maybe he didn't remember or possibly he'd never learned properly. He spent a good portion of his return home allowing these new revelations to overtake his thoughts.

He had never fit in, because he wasn't drawn to extroversion, not being someone who thrusts themselves upon every living thing in a five mile radius, as was expected by his relations. The world can't be made up of one personality type. It didn't help that the lot of them, parents, uncles and aunts, cousins, everyone, seemed to make it a point to focus upon what you were not, disregarding everything that you were.

Another blow; various family members had always said he considered himself dramatically misunderstood. It wasn't dramatic if it was true. They had never tried to understand. Aside from his sister and grandmother, not a person in his family really knew him, not the real person, he had kept hidden for fear of what they would say if they found out the truth. It was too big a risk. He'd had to protect himself.

It's terrible. Being left out, always alone, even when you're surrounded by supposed family. Every gathering, every time you see them, they might ask you polite questions but they don't care. Half the time, they don't even really listen to the answers, already moving on to someone more interesting before you had even finished an answer. He wasn't one of them. And they'll blame you too, saying that you don't want to be, you keep to yourself.

Well why wouldn't you? When every single one of them looks at you like you're crazy every time you open your mouth? It's better to not talk, better to keep quiet than to interact and be reminded that you are and will forever be a second class citizen. Growing up, it had become easier to simply live in his head. Old habits were hard to break. It was impossible to change their minds, get them to think differently. Just the looks alone put you in your place.

Who wants that kind of life? Who wouldn't choose to run? It was all coming back. He had idealized this idea of reconnecting with the family. Though he'd known it wouldn't be easy, he had forgotten it would be next to impossible to succeed. Too much time had lapsed since he'd last been in contact.

It was true that you always began to forgive something once it was left behind. His mind had been forgiving of the reality. He'd forgotten what it was like. Whether by conscious selection or unconscious choice, he wasn't sure. The options were solidifying in his mind.

Abby had granted him several hours of solitude to come to terms with whatever was on his mind. But being herself, Mcgee knew that she couldn't hold off her questions forever. More than likely she was dying to know if Gibbs had expended some magical power over him solving all problems in one fell swoop. "What are you thinking Timmy?"

"I don't know how to be a member of a family. Not like your stories Abs, it's a foreign land. This isn't a family. I don't have one, not like it's supposed to be anyway." Abby was watching him in the disconcerting way that typically made him concerned about whatever was preparing to come out of her mouth. She was going to say whatever she had in mind and he was going to listen, non-optional. Hopefully they would be in accordance with each other this time. He didn't feel like a debate at the moment.

"That's not true. Maybe you didn't once, but you have one now. Trust me. I know what it's like to not have anyone. How scary that is, but I found mine. Then you came along and joined it. We both found our family. You do know how to be family, Mcgee. You don't leave. You do whatever you can, when you can, to make things better for the others. All you have to do is be there. How many times have you gone running just because Sarah called you? Or me? Any of us? You would do anything for any one of us, no questions asked. There are no expectations. You always have a place to come home. We all needed each other, so we found each other. We've taught each other. That's family, Tim. And don't you forget it."


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

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Mcgee woke with the same mad ideas flurrying around his head as he'd had in the days before. Many that had actually been making repeat performances for weeks. Control and power were such interesting theories. If he ever wanted a doctorate he could probably write a thesis on either by now.

To add to his growing collection of intriguing facts; The calls had stopped. That was suspicious. There hadn't been a single one since the last had ended so badly. Why? It wasn't near time for his father to stop calling him. He should have at least a few more weeks of thinly veiled phone calls before his father went silent again.

Surely he couldn't have gotten out everything he wanted to say. There had to be thousands of things he still hadn't informed his son he was doing incorrectly, tons of judgements left to hand down. Maybe it was a fluke. Maybe they were finally letting him go. Or this was a setup for something more to come. That was likely, his father retreating to plan a tactical attack.

What was the endgame? Should he be worried? Still yet, Mcgee had options. He could stall and wait for whatever was going to come, or he could jump in and steal the moment, stop things on his own terms. But for now, it seemed, even making a decision could afford to wait. Work waited for no man. Correction: Gibbs waited for no one.

By midday, every member of team Gibbs had tasks they were supposed to be carrying out. However, seeing as Gibbs had been off playing with Fornell, things had, understandably, gotten a bit lax. Tony falling into his natural role as ringleader of the Gibbs is away circus. On his return from trip number three to the vending machines, in his defense the second trip had been for a certain crazy ninja, Tony was met with Abby twirling in his chair.

Tony was cautious, Abby never came up from her realm to hang all over his desk. That behavior was reserved for one desk over, where it belonged. "What can I do for you, oh Mistress of the Dark?" "Can we do family dinner?" He hadn't been expecting that. By the level of excitement she had going, he could tell that his answer wasn't really up for debate. She was informing, not asking.

They had not had a team family dinner in quite some time. It was about due time. Life in general had taken over their personal time lately. It would be good to be a group again. "Absolutely, Abs. Name a place." "That's where you come in. Reservations. Somewhere good, and Gibbs' house doesn't count. We're doing it up. No cowboy steaks."

Once Tony had been dealt his instructions, she had hopped out of his chair and headed for Ziva giving her the verdict. Non-optional, put on a dress and show up. Right as Ziva had made a move to protest, Mcgee had shown up and made to approach his desk. The presence of Abby conspiring with the other two didn't bode well.

Tony spotted him first. "Did you know about this ambush Probie?" "What ambush?" Abby threw a dirty look Tony's way before turning her focus to Mcgee. "There is no ambush. We're having family dinner tonight. Tony is in charge of using his contacts for a table. He's probably bent out of shape about about having to call in a favor. It is short notice."

"Don't worry. I think it's a great idea. I know a place we can get in. Hey, we could take over MTAC for movie night afterwards." Leave it to Tony to suggest movies. Not exactly a stretch of the imagination. Mcgee somehow didn't think it seem like the best idea. "Not a chance, I've had enough with movies for this week."

Mcgee could feel Abby glaring at him before he rose his eyes to meet her face. "Timmy, come on you know you needed it." Well, she had caught Tony's intrigue. He could sense possible adult activities from a mile away. "What ever is she talking about McScandalous?"

There was nothing even slightly risque. Did Tony really think they'd be talking about it at work if there had been? "I think she tried to pass it off as a learning experience." Tony drew out his voice as it went up several octaves. "Oh really? Well, movies can be highly instructive? Did you learn anything new?" Before Mcgee could answer Abby had broken back into the conversation. "Tony is right Mcgee, it was packed with life lessons, you needed a refresher anyway."

She knew exactly what DiNozzo was thinking. Humoring him was just going to make his mind go further into the gutter. Unfortunately it was proving impossible to break in between the two and stop the train before it could derail. "A refresher on what exactly Abs? And don't forget the details."

Mcgee snorted after Tony's comment and Abby, taking it as a response to herself, flipped around to face him. "Do I need to make you watch it again? Did the lessons not sink in? I thought you had accepted, but if not I can arrange a second showing." Her threat was good.

It was obvious that Tony was dying to know what kind of sordid viewing they had been engaged in. Before he could pose his next question Abby had returned to the Senior Agent. "Lilo and Stitch, Tony, get your mind up where it belongs." He actually looked disappointed in the lack of gossip worthy intelligence concerning their private lives. "How'd you get him to watch that? Thought Mcgee didn't swing Disney." "Oh he doesn't. I'm very persuasive. And when my usual methods failed, I sat on him. He stopped resisting after awhile. Overall, it was a success."

Once Gibbs had entered the vicinity their conversation had swiftly ended. Probably for the best. Gibbs broke past Abby to return to his desk. "Get lost Abby? Lab's downstairs." His eyes swept over all of them. "Work?" All three of his agents popped up automatically and began to fill him in on their contributions to their case but Abby inserted herself ahead of their stream of answers.

"Gibbs! Dinner, tonight. Okay?" "Can't." "Come on Gibbs, you have to! Family time." His only response was to look her dead on. Apparently whatever she was in his face was enough to make her drop her argument. Furthermore, she began her retreat down to her lab. "Four, Tony. Don't forget." With her exit, the fight for speaking time rebounded.

The team, plus Abby, minus Gibbs, did end up with a table. Tony came through on the reservations, with no lack of charm expended on the hostess which had resulted in Ziva theatrically rolling her eyes to punctuate her constant scoffs as she stood behind him. To his credit, Tony did manage to ignore her and focus on the task he had been assigned. They were seated quickly in a quiet corner. It was the perfect time, just as the early diners were leaving but before the later crowd had arrived.

Tony had yet to forget about their earlier conversation and was determined to perfect his Stitch impression. He had become their entertainment as they waited for their orders to arrive. "Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." Abby and Mcgee had both dissolved in to laughter after his first few attempts. It only kept getting funnier.

Ziva was watching him as though he had finally lost his mind. "Ohana?" "I'm shocked you don't know Ms. David. Ohana is Hawaiian for family." "What kind of movie is this?" "Little blue cartoon alien, with a penchant for violence and destruction, finds his family, pretends to be a dog. Perfect for you. You'd love it. We'll watch it sometime."

"This is a children's film, yes? I am not interested in a watching a film about an alien dog." "Pretends to be a dog. You have no taste in movies. Still so much instruction needed. Hey Abby, I think we have another person in need of your lessons." Ziva was approaching outraged. "I have fine tastes in films." "Four words. Pirates of the Caribbean. Argument closed."

Just in time to prevent a reprisal of the merit of Johnny Depp debate, their food had arrived and distracted the discourse. The restaurant had slowly begun to refill around them. Their meal had been nice. It really had been too long since they had done a family dinner. Even if it was only the partial group.

Their evening was winding down. They were all mostly finished but had not yet made any move to retreat from the table. Tony addressed him a little to suddenly to result in anything that could even skew positive. "I swear, Mcgee, I didn't know. I promise. I wouldn't, not if I'd known…"

Mcgee looked up at Tony confused. Tony's eyes were about three times the size they usually were. Seriously, if he opened them any farther, he was going to hurt himself. Why was Tony bothering him? He was on a mission. He had been busy attempting to break Abby's little game of pretending to concentrate on her discussion with Ziva and ignoring him.

She wasn't doing very well tonight, he'd only kissed her cheek twice and the second time she'd forgotten which gun she'd asked Ziva about. Once more and she'd look at him out of habit. Then he'd win. Still, DiNozzo looked genuinely distressed. What? Then Mcgee followed his trained eye line. This had to be a cosmic joke. Maybe he should go repent everything he'd ever done, and maybe some things he hadn't because obviously, someone was punishing him for something. Was there a priest in the area?

His father's eyes met his. Clearly, he had known his son was there. How long had his table been seated? How long had he been watching? It couldn't have been such a long time. Nonetheless, they remained caught in a momentary web of uncertainty. Then the Admiral seemed to remember where he was, and who he was. His expression quickly shifted. No. Do not approach. Not now. Their coexistence in the same building was not to be dealt with. His decision was loud and clear. The Admiral's choice settled, he quickly settled back into his role of master of the table for whoever his guests were.

Pulling himself from the bubble surrounding the discovery of his father, Mcgee chanced a look at the rest of his own table. They all knew what was going on. He didn't even known if he would have approached his father, or if he would have said anything. It wasn't his choice to make. He had never been allowed the option.

It was seriously about time for his worlds to stop colliding again. This mixing was unnecessary. He couldn't explain. Never, had he been able to explain. And now to them. He felt Abby slip her hand into his under the table. She was still watching his father. A little too closely.

The Admiral's discovery deadened the mood of the table. It did not take long to settle their check and collect their things. Finally, they reached the outside of the building. Then began the quiet awkwardness that Mcgee had really been hoping wouldn't happen. It was Ziva who ended up breaking the quiet. "Let us go, Tony." "But…" "Come, I will even allow you to show me this movie about the alien dog. But, you must promise not to talk through the whole thing."

Luckily, her offer seemed to have drawn Tony's interest and he followed her away after they had left their shortened goodbyes. Mcgee decided he would have to bring Ziva one of her fruity drinks to thank her for extricating Tony. Well meaning yes, but the last thing Mcgee wanted to do was dwell. It was better all around to move on.

Stasis had been good. It had been a needed reprieve. His mind had been taken off the lingering back issues and returned to himself. Once Tony and Ziva were safely out of sight, he began the walk towards his car with Abby. Without the others, he could ask the questions he had been waiting to. "Who was he with?" "What do you mean?" "We both know what you were doing. You're a terrible liar, Abby." "Fine. Business deal." "And after Tony noticed him, he didn't…" "Never stopped his conversation. Apparently none of his guests realized anything else was going on."

Good. Their silent conversation could be kept out of at least one table of people. He'd just be left with another fatherly experience. This half life of uncertainty was draining. Decisions must be made. There was one he could start with. He looked back over at Abby. "Home or ice cream?" He was met with a smile. "Now Timmy, do you really have to ask? You owe me and I'd like to collect. If you'll recall, there's the small matter of a game you didn't win."


	10. Chapter 10

** I've been away far too long. I discovered tumblr, which was …distracting… but more so, I procrastinated… for months. Many, many apologies. I won't let that much time elapse again.**

**I also apologize for the confusion surrounding the last chapter. Abby did not set up the Admiral being there. She did not choose where they were going. I did not make it clear enough what I meant and I hope to rectify that in this chapter.**

**Thank you for continuing to read this little project of mine. Please let me know what you think of it; the good, the bad and the ugly. Reviews thrill me to no end, I practically mainline them. Please review!**

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Ready, set, go. There was a conversation that needed to occur. He was going to have to push through everything else, twenty plus years worth of everything elses. His father needed to be dealt with by no one but himself. He could do this. One conversation and it would determine the path. He may be taking control but whatever his father said was going to impact the rest of their interactions, possibly forever.

Who knew? Maybe there would be a breakthrough, or maybe this was a shaky path of good intentions and one flare would send it all up in smoke. Either way, this project had created a monstrous mess. He had been fine before. Who was he to attempt to reconcile anything? He wasn't a god, not of big things, not of small things and not of anything having to do with his father. Time to start hoping for the best.

The restaurant in retrospect was insignificant. The random series of events that brought himself and his father to the same venue was laughable. Karma once again. He was still wondering what he'd done in the first place but he was ready to start making sacrifices to go along with his elaborated confessions. Peaceful nights out didn't exist apparently.

Of course, he would rather his friends not be present for any interaction with the Admiral but what was done was done. He had moved beyond it. Well, he had moved on after he had interrogated Abby as to every word his father had said post his discovery. He'd never been more thankful for lip-reading. Inquiring minds.

It was just one more situation that would give him leverage for the why-are-you-here section if he ever ended up institutionalized for finally psychologically snapping. What was he going to say?

There had to be a set itinerary or Mcgee knew that he would get lost in his own thoughts and his words become convoluted. That would help nothing. There should be a script. Unfortunately, the elder wouldn't be working off the same preparations. No script. Flying solo then.

As time had insisted on progressing, things had kept him occupied, away from his constant mental struggle concerning what he should do. He had been both writing and dodging his editor's calls. Furthermore, he was trying, unsuccessfully, to see if he could keep Abby under four caf-pows a day and most of all, work had provided a decent distraction. Criminals never took a day off.

Thankfully, nobody mentioned their latest familial run in. He did not want his friends linked in any way to the past, to who he was before NCIS, before them. It still struck him on occasion, how much he had gained. How amazing it was that people fell together in such was to put them in the right spot at the right time to meet exactly the right group.

It took him time to figure out some sort of half plan he could start with. Days of turning over what he planned to say. Nothing volatile. He could face him, alone. He was no longer the child living in fear of the criticisms of his father. Too much had changed. He now realized that he couldn't go back to being who he was before, no matter what the Admiral said or did.

His life was totally different and his father had yet to figure that out. He was his own person. Mcgee had made himself into the person he was, despite everything that had been said and done. In some ways, he had raised himself, decided who he wanted to be and succeeded. No Admiral could take that away from him.

This would all have to be done soon, before he lost his nerve, or talked himself out of truly initiating conversation. They couldn't keep living in the middle of the road. Somehow, his massive amounts of thinking led to the determination that he should approach his father away from others.

The best place to ensure that he would be alone was his parent's house. He knew his mother was off with Sarah for the weekend and his father would be alone. Whatever was going to happen had to be done without outside influences. It was always going to come down to Tim and his father.

His car was fast but it didn't even seem to take near the amount of time it should have to drive across the city. Mcgee had told Abby that he had something to do. Luckily, she was busy and only half paying attention to him. Thus, she didn't question. He must do this himself.

Such a short, yet seemingly long, amount of time had passed since his dinner at their house. This time there was no procrastination as he exited the Porsche and found himself knocking on his parent's door. They still needed that sign.

Obviously Mcgee was just about the last person the Admiral would expect to be on his doorstep. Turning the tables, his apartment had been invaded he could return the favor. His father backed away from the open door, allowing him to enter.

Too soon, they were resettled in his father's study keeping up a decent staring contest standoff. He had come, he should speak. Questions received answers. "Why did you come to my apartment?"

"You do not live there anymore." Nice deflection Admiral, really. Nice to see he was keeping up the stalking of his son as well. However, it wasn't allowed, his father did not get to lie or omit or deflect or anything else. Games were over. His father had been the one who broached the silence first.

"I know." He could wait. Working with Gibbs had given him the perfect example of how to wait as long as it took. The Admiral must have deduced that he was serious because he deigned to answer.

"I told you while I was there. If you are reacting to my dinner the other night, please remind yourself that I was working." He was always working. Especially when he didn't want to do something else. It's possible to work through a childhood when you aren't interested in it.

"I've got to hand it to you, apparently you never even lost your train of thought." He was provoking the wild animal. You weren't supposed to attempt such things. Scouts taught you that. "You have no idea what I was talking about or my business matters." True, yet maybe if he wasn't kept eternally outside of everything, he'd have some knowledge of his father. "Abby reads lips."

The Admiral looked dumbfounded for a split second, as if he wasn't sure how to process this new information. Before he could offer his rebuttal Mcgee continued. "It doesn't matter. I don't care what you do in public, I really don't. What happens in private is more concerning. You've always cared more about what other people thought." His father wasn't happy. Line crossed.

"This is not how a son is meant to behave." Mcgee started looking for escape routes right then and there. There was no option to be found, his back was to the wall and he could not slip around. There was nobody else to take the center of attention away. He found himself trapped with no option but to submit to listening to the oncoming diatribe. "You do not come into my home and create such disruptions because you are angry."

Enough. He wanted to keep his calm. If nothing else, he knew how to control his emotions. The only thing stronger than emotions was what made you hold them in. Mcgee knew that he had whatever that mystery ingredient was.

However, apparently fate was fickle and tonight was the night that it wasn't going to be acted on. He was now sure that he knew these interactions were making him unhappy, complicating his life and not moving forward. It had become too much. They were holding him so that he could not move forward.

Maybe he unconsciously knew that he couldn't take anymore, he was at a breaking point. Holding it in was over and done. Holding this temporary pass out for himself, he grabbed the opportunity and the walls came tumbling down. The Admiral had finally broken down a part of his son, just not the part he thought was going to be altered.

Mcgee remembered how easy it was to be done. How many years it really hadn't been a problem. He was okay and he was finally finished. This domination of his life was over. He had been so much happier while he'd been by himself and with the team. It didn't have to be like this. He could stop the nonsense.

He could appear calmer than he was. They had taught him that. He should thank the Admiral. If there was one thing Mcgee knew how to do it was to keep his mouth shut. Unless he didn't want to. And tonight, he didn't . "You're right. I am angry, but not for what you think. Why is nothing I do right? Not ever, If I did it, thought it, said it, it was wrong. Always, still is."

"I've never said that." Apparently, his father was now suffering from some sort of memory loss. He should have carried around a tape recorder when he was younger. Proof was in the evidence after all.

"Maybe not the exact words, but if nothing else, you have acted it. I figured out how to read between the lines a long time ago. I think I understood dismissive before I knew it could be any other way. Why was it okay? All that time? I'm sorry I wasn't what you wanted in a son. I'm sorry you didn't get your legacy. But when I was a kid, the only thing I ever wanted to be was enough for you. What did I ever do? Why was I not worth your time and effort. Why was I not enough?"

There hadn't been many conversations with actual exchange of dialogue in the past. Mcgee knew that he shouldn't have thought that barging in would be a catalyst for honest responses yet he had expected at least a lecture. The Admiral hadn't moved from behind his desk. His reactions kept within himself, he did not take up against his son.

No tirade followed Mcgee's comments. The Admiral said nothing as the clock ticked on. Mcgee pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the door. He had left last time, he could do it again. "It wasn't okay then. It isn't okay now. And I am done being not enough."

Mcgee vaguely realized that he had made it outside and to his car. If he'd been asked, he couldn't identify his own emotions. Everything was a cyclone mass of jumbled thoughts. Without thinking about what he was doing, he managed to make it back to his apartment. Standing outside the door, he paused.

He had acted. Now, he had to go and confess what he had done. Telling would make it real. What if he was wrong? No, he couldn't think like that. But he couldn't stop either. He pushed open the door, still the whirling mass of confusion working in his head. It only took seconds for him to manage to call her name. Even less time was required for Abby to enter the room, take one look at him and wrap him in a hug.


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.**

**As always, you have my eternal thanks for reading.**

**Please take a moment to leave a review! Reviews make me so unbelievably happy. Thank you for your reviews!**

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Abby found herself surrounded by McGee who was clutching her in a way that made her start questioning who was dead. He was getting good at scaring her. Always had been really. If she didn't love him it he wouldn't be able to scare her. She had finally figured that out.

Before she began taking a mental tally of the last contact she'd had with everyone she knew, she found it in herself to risk the answer and ask. "Are you okay? What happened? What's wrong?"

For a few seconds he didn't say anything, which wasn't really helping the fear reduction tactics. When he did respond it was as if he wasn't fully there with her, a part of him mentally off somewhere else. "I did it, something I should have done a long time ago."

He couldn't breathe. Was this what a panic attack felt like? He had done everything wrong. The battle was complete and it would go down as another marking in the category: the vast and numerous errors of Timothy McGee.

At least a part of him recognized that he wasn't alone, he found himself talking again. To himself, to her, it didn't matter. "It had to be done, didn't it? Tell me I did the right thing?" Someone had to tell him. He didn't know. His thoughts were swirling and unintelligible McGee couldn't trust himself enough to make that decision.

It was a major task. Had he detonated and disrupted any possible progress that had occurred with the Admiral. Had there even been progress? There wasn't any he could see but maybe his judgments could be clouded.

"Tim, what are you talking about? What did you do?" Confusion melted into every crevice of her mind. Where had he said he was going? Was it coincidence he waited until she was looking over the research for her pitch to the director about her next lab purchase before he mentioned he was going anywhere? What could he possibly have done? He hadn't mentioned any plans before. McGee never did anything even vaguely questionable enough to warrant this kind of behavior.

"I went to see him, I had to do something." He was being beyond frustrating. He was upset and giving her nothing to work with. Abby didn't know what she should be preparing herself for. She couldn't know how to respond. Descriptions would be nice. Essential even. Abby pulled away from him in order to face him, drew her hands up to his face.

Hopefully, the shift would draw out answers, force him to connect. "McGee. Went to see who, subjects, verbs, nouns? What are you talking about?" Eye contact seemed to work. At least he seemed to return to earth long enough to give her a coherent answer. "The Admiral."

Her eyes portraying her shock. "You talked to your dad?" McGee could only nod. What had he done? His father could probably put out a military authorized hit if he wanted to. Not that the Admiral would. No, he was being ridiculous. He may never speak to him again but his father wouldn't have him killed. He had wanted this right? Abby's hands fell away from his face and he found himself missing the contact. Luckily it didn't last long, Abby grabbed his arm and he allowed himself to be led to the sofa and pushed down.

He waited until she had sat as well before he continued. McGee had adopted the frenetic energy that Abby was famous for, he was almost shaking with built up tension. The energy made it hard to sit still. Fidgeting was his new best friend.

"I think I might have just disowned myself permanently. I knew he'd be alone. I just… I was thinking how I couldn't stand being manipulated anymore. He hasn't even been trying and he's been controlling my thoughts. I couldn't do it anymore. You know how sometimes you just know? I can't live my life trying to make do with them anymore. He didn't say anything. What if he's mad. I know I made him mad. I told him it was enough. I am done being not enough. What if I was wrong?"

The speech was a lot to process. The ramifications were expansive. Or were they? What was going to happen next? Anything at all? Turns out, there were still so many questions. His brain was on rapid fire. What came after paranoia? Whatever it was called, that's where he was headed. Quickly. Abby broke though his queries. "Do you think you were wrong? Does it feel wrong?"

She sounded tentative, speaking slowly. Apparently she didn't know what to make of his current flirtation with a one way ticket to an insane asylum either. Or his brain was going so quickly that even Abby's speech sounded decelerated. Had he really done what he knew he had? They would all find out. He would never live this down.

Right or wrong? Which was he? Why did he have to go and seek out his father? He could have survived continued interactions. Couldn't he have? Wasn't that what you were supposed to do? From somewhere inside, mind, body, gut, he knew. No, whatever happened it couldn't have kept going. "I'm not sure. Maybe. I don't think so. It's done Abs. That's okay right?"

He was beginning to calm down, which was soothing. However, McGee seemed to be awaiting her answer, begging for any form of validation, like a lifeboat in a storm. Abby knew what this had been doing to him. How everything having to do with his father was tearing him up.

Whenever the Admiral came around, McGee turned into someone she didn't know, or perhaps someone she hadn't known in a very long time. She had watched first hand from the start. He sank inside himself. The Admiral had the ability to take him away from them. From her. Shouldn't, but he did. McGee's father hadn't been around in years. What right did he have to compeletely turn his son's life upside down? Unacceptable.

The truth was in the details. More so, the truth was right in front of her, thinking desperate things because of a man who either didn't understand or care what his son needed. They both knew the right answer but she was the one who had to say it. "Yes. Whatever you said. Whatever you needed to do. It's okay. It is going to be okay." He looked so relieved.

Once Abby had agreed that he hadn't done detrimental damage to his life in general, McGee had been almost giddy all night. The words were something he could trust, a provider of hope. It was possible he hadn't ruined anything. He wasn't happy. No, most definitely not happy, but he was relieved. An all-encompassing relief that sank down into the very core of his being. This shift allowed better uses of his mind and time.

Without the cloud of the Admiral lurking in the background, business as usual had rebounded. Regular circumstances returned. Orders from Gibbs, pacts with Ziva to mess with Tony, giving the illusion that he would help Tony spy on Ziva, watching Jimmy put his foot in his mouth, loving Abby; ordinary life was good. It was filled with things he knew how to do again.

McGee came to terms with how his relationship was left with his father. He was done and it was freeing. Just like he remembered. The calm was back in his life and he could breathe again. The ability to put everything in the back of his mind and stop obsessing had returned. Movement and focus replaced the stagnation that had been invading his life.

He had no regrets about his actions or anything he said. Nothing more was heard from the Admiral or his mother. In one moment, McGee had returned to speaking only to Sarah on a consistent basis. Even his sister had resumed not mentioning anything about their parents, a resurrection of the unspoken agreement of the past.

Freedom from scrutiny had joyously set itself back into his day-to-day routine. Creature of habit, adapting back into routine. So much was going right, so right in fact, that it was almost expected when the pivot occurred and things began to go wrong.

Gibbs dropped file folders on top of their desks. "New lead. Sec Nav wants final results. Need you all to finish the contractor case." With everything that had happened, he'd forgotten about the original catalyst for his recent issues. The case. He was only a witness, he wouldn't have to see him.

Well, a normal person probably could get away without seeing him. But this was McGee of course. Fate had it out for him, as proved over and over. Was it possible to get off the bus? The Admiral would be coming back.


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

**Hello again! Just so you know, I will be editing some of the earlier chapters. So, if you see updates popping up that are older chapters, you know why.**

**Please review! I can not thank you enough for reading and reviewing.**

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It would be okay. He was going to believe that. It was so much easier that way. Happy thoughts and all. As McGee focused on his desire to keep the remainder of his good mood, Gibbs began his instructions and it was prudent to allow himself to sink into the work. Focusing on the numbers was always a great distraction. It even started getting a tiny bit fun when he lost the money in Beijing just to find it again in Warsaw. The chase was on. They could run, but they couldn't hide.

Hours later and they had collectively decided it was time for a break. Gibbs had been gone for a good, solid ten minutes which meant coffee. The man was punctual with his caffeine. Unless one of them brought him food, Gibbs was almost never caught eating. What did his caffeine dealer put in that coffee? Survival by the sustenance of coffee alone was apparently possible.

Deciding that if they were going to eat, they had better do it before he got back, the team scattered. Well, partially scattered. Getting outside for awhile was always a nice reminder that a world beyond the orange walls existed.

McGee agreed to be lured out to Tony's favorite lunch spot with him. His current favorite anyway. DiNozzo had discovered this one about a week ago. After many rather pointed comments relying heavily on words like repulsive and disgusting, Ziva had made it clear she wasn't step foot anywhere within a mile radius of place. Boys day out. McGee had to admit that it was an acquired taste, one that you couldn't think particularly hard about if you wanted to keep eating.

The post lunch return, with Tony pushing the limits of common decency to get back within seconds of the exact moment he believed Gibbs would arrive, was a let down. Tony's theatrics were wasted on the reveal that Gibbs' desk was still empty. DiNozzo had even hurled himself out of the elevator at a flat run. Tony's self-proclaimed brilliant timing failing him, the senior field agent would no doubt turn towards his favorite standby of annoying his teammates as they tried to work.

McGee had left the money trail in Moscow but he had good feelings about Taipei. If he could just worm in through a few more firewalls, he would have the information locked in place. McGee slipped off with the intent of working in the lab. He could basically work from anywhere, lucky enough to not be tied to his desk. The Tony sized distraction would set him back. He could kill two birds with one stone as Abby tended to get lonely.

McGee had been using one of her backup computers for so long that it had somehow become his own. He still had not totally figured out how Tony ever got anything done. However, Gibbs hadn't fired him so apparently he was actually doing his work.

Entering the lab, McGee fulfilled priority one of turning the music down from Earth-shattering to ear-splitting. Once he had finished opening his programs and settled in to working, Abby reentered her domain accompanied by more caf-pow. "Hi, Timmy." She couldn't have actually seen him yet. Clairvoyance was one ability Abby had never claimed to have. He managed to tear his eyes away from the computer to acknowledge her. "How did you know I was here?"

"I couldn't hear the music until I got halfway down the hallway. Gibbs turns it off, you turn it down. Now, more importantly, do I need to be concerned?"

"About what?" Nonchalance and denial. That worked, right? Apparently not. She was giving him her you-can-not-be-serious look. "So you heard. Gibbs?" The same link that enabled Gibbs to seek information from Abby tended to work just as well in the reverse. Despite the osmosis, Gibbs was still better at withholding information. Abby would spout answers to most questions in a second, after a single look from the boss. Sadly, he realized that he probably did the exact same thing. Gibbs had truly trained them well.

"I work here. Remember? But no, actually Ziva mentioned you all started the case with your dad again. I think she's worried about you. In her own Ziva way." Oh good, they were talking about him. It was always so fun when that started. McGee sometimes fleetingly missed the days before Abby had accepted Ziva as a member of their little family. Back then, there had been less scheming. Not that there was much now. Ziva was still no Kate. He was sure that his every action had been dissected when Kate was still alive. Shudder inducing.

"I'm fine. Honestly." McGee knew that she believed him. Mostly. She didn't need to know how much time he spent fantasizing about ways matters could play out that would allow him to arrest his father as an accessory. Why was he only a witness?

This activity proved to be highly entertaining, enough so that he had to mentally remind himself to not start laughing. His crazy would start showing and then he would probably lose his security clearance. McGee really liked having his security clearance. But that was just fun and games. He could handle his father coming around. Though it was becoming a bit of a broken record. "Can we talk about something else please?"

"Well, since you're not being bothered by anything right now, I've been thinking…" Of course she had. What was her latest predetermination? Abby turned her computer screen to face him and he found himself staring at an endless number of adorable yet sad-looking shelter dogs. No. Absolutely not. The one they had was more than enough. Topping the list of things he did not need was a dog.

He and Jethro had learned to get along just fine. Another dog was not in the plan right now. Abby would never stop wanting to save them once they actually got one. She would turn the apartment into an animal retreat if he'd let her do it. How long had she been planning to bring this up?

Better question: how long had she been refraining from asking? He had a feeling that Abby had sensed his opinion on the matter as she tried to preempt his response. "Please, Timmy? Just one? Jethro's getting older… we live in a dog building! I've never lived in a dog building! Look at their little faces. They're in puppy jail and we could save them! You are a federal agent, you have a moral responsibility to save things when you can."

"I don't think it works quite like that Abs. I don't remember a clause about animals in the federal agent manual. You can save them, play with them, love them all you want to when you see Kyle. Plus, I already agreed to the seeing eye dogs. No puppy, not now." She wasn't backing down. Abby was determined. Scary determined.

He had to be strong. Telling Abby no was not an easy task. All it took to reinforce his belief was the image of her last foster Golden Retriever chewing on the sleeve of his Armani jacket. How long was this battle going to last? Eventually McGee knew that he would bend. Just not now. Not for a long time. No dog.

The work he was doing continued to pan out and he found the information Gibbs wanted. Abby had managed to continue peppering all conversation with animal related information. Thankfully, Major Mass Spec distracted her and gave her a whole new project to work on. As the clock had progressed so had the finalization of his report. The boss would need to be updated. He left the lab and the canine stalemate to return to the bullpen.

In less time than it took for him to quickly update Gibbs and bring up his email, Abby already had a study linking pet ownership and happiness waiting in his inbox. She had foreseen his response and she was well prepared, he would give her that. Skipping over Abby's less than subtle hints, McGee pulled up Ziva's reminder of scheduled interview times. Soon. Very soon, the Admiral would be questioned again about his knowledge.

McGee was okay with the Admiral returning, oddly he was. He had made his peace. It was something he had been thinking about often lately, in the renewed era of communal silence. Sometimes you had to do unpleasant things that you didn't particularly want to do. It was a part of life that he had accepted long ago. Growing up as he had taught him that. Take a breath, man up and power through.

In the past weeks, McGee had also accepted that no matter what his status was in his father's life or his father's status in his, he could extend the desire for well-being. The untold desire to read the Admiral his Miranda Rights aside, McGee knew when gratitude was due. He didn't have to like what the Admiral did or how he acted but McGee had realized the impacts of Admiral both out of rebellion against him or learned from him.

He had gravitated towards the Navy because of his father. He had been drawn to Abby because she could make him feel like nobody ever had before. His father had prepared him to be able to handle working for Gibbs. His father had given him everything. Though he had never intended to, he had set the path for his son to have exactly the life he wanted.

That was something he could never forget. Call it filial piety, call it whatever you wanted, McGee was learning how to be grateful yet keep a boundary to protect yourself, a lesson he had obviously forgotten at some point in the past. There could be respect with the knowledge that something was finished. The determination of when something was done or if it ever was were the only things left to be decided.


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own NCIS; no infringement is intended.

**I can not thank you enough for reading. This is the last chapter and I know that it has been a long time coming. Thank you for sticking with it to the end.**

**Please let me know what you think! Once again, Thank you!**

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They were at home the night before the father was scheduled to reappear in the son's life. It would probably be the last time his saw the man in the foreseeable future. It was odd to know something was going to happen and you didn't know when or if it would ever occur again. There was a finality that came along with such determinations. It would be nice to finish the chapter and allow something new to sweep in and dominate his life. Change could be very good indeed.

They were done with kerosene. The flame had finally burnt down into a nice, self-contained, flicker. McGee knew that, typically, he was not the volatile member of their corps. In fact, he personally considered himself just about the least temperamental of their little family. He was stable and dependable and he wanted that role back, the return of the status quo. Nothing sounded more appealing.

Abby had been concentrated on her own research, conveniently spread out all over the living room floor, the last time he'd checked which had yielded itself well to his writing. He could tell she was finished for the night as the quiet that had taken over the apartment slowly began to dissipate as she shoved her papers back into their files.

Headphones were wonderful inventions. He could have quiet and she could live in her noise haven. Domesticity still thrilled him. He thourghly loved having access to Abby on demand. Furthermore, she'd yet to show any intention of running for the hills screaming, things were working.

With the mutual research and development session ended he listened as she made her way over to him and rested her chin over his shoulder. "I'm going to bed, are you coming or do you want to keep working?"

It was already late. Neither one of them was very good at going to sleep at reasonable times. Still, they both always woke up when they were supposed to. And there was caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. "Bed. Did you decide if you're going to try for a grant of just publish?"

"Didn't I tell you? I'm aiming for a study on the feasibility of animals in the workplace." McGee blanched. She delivered her line with such sincerity. Helpfully, she started laughing at his reaction which somewhat eased his horror.

"I'm kidding Timmy. But I do think I'll try for a grant this time." He allowed her description of her new ideas to flow over their actions as they each got ready for bed.

Once they had finally laid down, he turned to face her. McGee prepared himself for the half-heartbroken look he was sure was coming. "Abby, I know you were joking earlier, and Jethro worked out, but I really don't want another dog. Not now."

"I know. It's okay." She was quiet which wasn't all that reassuring that she wasn't devastatingly upset. Abby so rarely didn't get what she wanted, especially when it came to relatively little things, not that a dog was all that little, that she still didn't accept it well. He liked keeping Abby happy. Most who knew her made it a goal. Gibbs was the best at telling her no. Or maybe she simply expected it from him. "But not never? Right?"

She honestly didn't seem mad. Resigned would be appropriately descriptive. He could deal with that. "Not never."

It was quiet again. He could tell that she wasn't asleep. The act of falling asleep required much more time than had passed for both of them. Brains are notoriously hard to turn off sometimes. Just as McGee was deciding whether making a visual aid would help Tony with their next video game night, maybe he'd be more apt to listen to instruction instead of going off his own assumptions from holding a controller for thirty seconds if poster board was involved, Abby interrupted his chain of thought. "Your father comes tomorrow?"

"It will be all right." They'd been avoiding the topic successfully. Talking in the dark was easier. Turn off the lights and all the subjects you keep under wraps come bubbling up to surface.

Abby was curled into his side and he could feel her speaking against him. "I hope so. I'm sorry things didn't go better. I wish they had. For both of you."

"I could tell a long time ago that I didn't want his life. I didn't know what that meant, or what I did want, but I remember thinking that if a good life meant doing what my father did, being like him, I wasn't interested. We've never been able to overcome our differences and we probably never will. Too much time has passed. I've changed too much and yet I haven't changed at all. I'm sure the same goes for him, even if I don't see the alterations. It's what it is. We were the family that broke. It isn't that it doesn't matter. But, we couldn't fix it so we let it go. It was for the best. "

"I love you, Tim." That made him smile into the dark. I love you was still hard, still scared her. McGee knew it did. She almost never said it when she was being serious. Not that she didn't feel it, but just saying the words was a problem. It made it all the better when she did.

"I love you too, Abby."

Bright and early the next morning McGee had joined Tony and Ziva for their morning routine of preparing for Gibbs. Eventually, they all wandered in their own directions to complete their designated tasks. When McGee looked up from his computer, hours later, it was to only to notice that just himself and Gibbs remained in the bullpen.

More concerning was the fact that Gibbs was standing in front of his desk, focused directly in on him. Good things almost never came out of Gibbs staring him down. "Abby asked for you. Thought about sending you to work downstairs today."

"You're not going to are you?" Not that he'd mind spending the day in the lab but somehow McGee thought that locking himself away might give the wrong impression on his renewed grasp of control over his life.

"She doesn't actually need help. And is me sending you down there going to fix anything?"

"No, it wouldn't."

"I don't let anybody else avoid their families."

"Abby likes to think that everything works itself out in the end. Maybe she's right, maybe in another year, another decade something else will happen and we'll try again. Maybe things will work eventually or they won't. It is possible that this is the end and it's time to let go. Sometimes it works like that."

Honestly, some people are better off letting go rather than drag each other down in the struggle. McGee knew he was not a fortune teller. There weren't any tarot cards for this one. He could tell that his response was along the lines of what Gibbs wanted to hear. Apparently he had passed the test.

Gibbs finally broke his constant gaze and began to move away from Mcgee's desk. Before he could get too far away, McGee stopped him. "Boss?" Gibbs turned back towards him "Thanks." There was another nod accompanied by the half smile Gibbs got when things went as he planned or something amused him.

The boss was pleased with him. Not that Gibbs would have actually let him go and hide in the lab, but choosing to stay and knowing what he needed to do placed him with good marks in the boss' book. It was still odd to think about Gibbs caring what happened in his life that didn't directly correlate to his ability to do his job. McGee wouldn't necessarily describe it as eternal devotion as Abby had but it was nice nonetheless.

As the Admiral was shown in for the interview, work took precedence, McGee did his job completely and well. The Admiral was good with business as usual. Personal didn't need to parade in the way of the task that drew them together. Their time in the room was strictly professional and though passing more slowly than either would have liked, did pass by.

Reinterview being over and done it was time for the exit. They were alone together once again, in the same hallway where their first conversation at the start of project reconnect had taken place. The same yet different. This time, the tone was completely different. McGee wasn't anxious, acceptance of a situation was a wonderful thing. Calm had won out.

While he was supposed to be escorting his father out, McGee realized that he had stopped walking and his father was watching him. The Admiral broke the silence. "Are we not done?"

"No, we are." McGee snapped back into reality long enough to take a few steps only to stop again. The bullpen was back in view. The Admiral's final escort already waiting to take him out of the building. Now or never. "No. Wait. I have something to say." Closure was good. Gibbs taught them all that. What could happen when you had it and alternatively what could happen if you didn't. Not that this was exactly a life or death situation but still.

"If nothing else, I owe you because you have shown me what I wanted. And what I didn't. Because of everything I was not, I have become what I am. And although it's not so simple, and there are hundreds of reasons for all the whys, you were one of the firsts. These past months have proven that I was right. I did what I had to do to become someone I can be proud of. I know I'm still not what you expected, or what you wanted, but I have realized that I am going to have to be okay with that. I know now. I understand. And I truly thank you for that."

His father nodded. The only response he was granted. His father had heard him. Maybe for the first time. It was something. They continued into the bullpen and the escort took over. McGee joined the rest of the team back at the desks and watched the Admiral leave. The elevator doors bringing the close to the story so far.

The definitive culmination of everything that had happened over the past months: the Admiral had listened to what he said, didn't fight it or dismiss it, but listened. You had to accept what others were able to give and McGee was starting to see that maybe it was all his father was able to give him. He was going to have to be okay with that. And he was. The puzzle pieces of his life had fallen and fit themselves together. Everything was finally okay.


End file.
